In today's podcast episode I'm telling you to throw the word confidence away, but don't worry I've got something so much better for you.
The more I share my story the more I get the question: ‘You don't seem to have an issue with confidence, how did you get to that point?'
It's so interesting that I get the question as a podcast guest and I literally had someone ask me this very question this morning as I was being interviewed by an Aussie entrepreneur living in New York.
So I had to go and look the word up of course:
Google says Confidence is:
Then self-reliance and self-assurance were other words that come up with it.
So confidence is that you trust that what you're about to do and you have the ability to do in the simplest way.
I'll be sharing with you:
✨The 4 C's of Confidence and how you can start to look at things in a very different way
✨What the confidence equation is and how you can work through it
✨Why you need to let go of caring about confidence
✨How you can do big things with out the big C work to
Suzanne Chadwick 00:00
Hello, my lovelies, how are you? Welcome back to another week. I'm feeling super energised today, very excited to share this week's episode with you all about forget confidence do this instead, it feels like a really catchy blog title as well. Do you think do you think wouldn't you click on that? Click on that anyway. So I feel like we've been in a build up this year with all of the content, not confidence, all of the content that I've been sharing around belief ladders, growing your audience, becoming the leader that you want to be today we're talking about forgetting confidence and what you should do instead. And then also, within growing your audience, I was talking about repurposing content as well. So your thought leadership, the stuff that you create, you should be able to use in lots of different ways. So part of this week's podcast episode is actually some of the recordings from a recent webinar that I did, but then I'm adding a whole lot of new ad lib stuff to it as well. So do you see what I did there, I'm like taking the content I've created and I've worked hard on, and then I'm repurposing it for the podcast, so that you get to hear it. Plus, I'm adding extra bits so that it's like special just for the podcast, too. So even if you came along to the webinar, and you might have heard some of this, you're not going to hear, you wouldn't have heard the additional stuff that I'm adding in, it's very clever. Very clever. But also, you know, not wasting, not wasting anything. So I am excited to share these with you, I've got so much new stuff coming out, I have to say and I said this before, and I'm sorry if you've already heard it, but I'm gonna say it again, is that the retreat really did spark a whole lot of new creative energy for me, I do love that I had some other ladies that have come back from the retreat. And one was like I came away from the retreat with massive high energy, I signed three high end clients, I increase my prices, I've now started working with like a spiritual coach, etc. So I'm just like, check it out. I love it. When my clients come away from a time that we've spent together in the black roof, check out all the things I'm doing. And I've had a couple of clients that have really developed their thought leadership started to look at how they're stepping more into, like the next stage of themselves, who they want to be that thought leader, that bold and powerful voice in the world, which you know, I am here for that is my purpose is to support you to do that. And so I'm excited to see all the progress they've made. But I'm also excited for the newfound energy that I have around my content to I'm just like, I want to create like a virtual retreat summit. And I want to, I've just recorded a brand new webinar for Brand Builders Academy, which you can go and check out if you go to Sue's chadwick.com, forward slash scale. And also Brand Builders Academy has gone evergreen, which means that you can join at any time. Obviously, you can join us during the live round, which we're in now we're only in week two, as this episode while we're in week three when this episode goes live, but you can get the coaching and then coaching after the live round is going to go to monthly so that no matter when you join, there's live coaching. There is support in the group. There's a lot of stuff, what are we We're 2022 It's all about new energy, new things happening. So I'm excited. So if you want to come and join me in Brand Builders Academy, then obviously go to suzchadwick.com forward slash BBA and come and hang out with us. But listen, I've just got so much to share with you today and I am I am like they are telling you to forget confidence. Just take it out of your vocabulary. That's what I'm going to tell you to do today. Are you excited for this episode? I'm excited I you excited wherever you're standing, whatever you're doing, give me a yes. Yes, yes, yes. Let's go. Okay, so
Suzanne Chadwick 04:51
one of the reasons why I decided to talk more about this is number one, I get a lot of clients that tell me they don't have the column confidence to do things. And so I wanted to address that. But also, the more that I share my story and the more I am on podcasts and things like that one of the questions I always get, like pretty much every time is you don't seem to have an issue with confidence. How did you get to that point? And it's really interesting, because I was literally a guest on a podcast this morning. And that was the question that I got asked as well. So that's what we're going to be talking about. But obviously, I had to go to Google and see what Google says about it. So Google says competencies, feeling of self assurance, arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities, or qualities. They also use self assurance, self reliance, what other words that came up. So really, confidence is that you trust that what you're about to do, you have the ability to do it that I feel like that's the simplest way to talk about what confidence is, according to Google, and according to the world. So today, I want to share a few different things. I'm going to talk about the four C's of confidence, I'm also going to talk about the confidence equation, which is funny, because obviously, in this episode, I'm telling you to forget the word confidence.
Suzanne Chadwick 06:21
And so the reason that I really want you to remove confidence from your vocabulary, I just think it'll help you to approach things in a very different way. And I think that the reason that people think that I'm so confident is because my mindset is that even if I don't have the ability to do it, now, I know that if I give it a go, then I'll learn how to do it. And that the only way for me to become confident, is to do it and learn it and continue to do it as well. So you have to decide if you want something bad enough. Yeah, you have to decide, do I want this and if I want this, and I don't feel confident to do it, which means that I do not have the self assurance that I have the ability and the qualities to do this, then you've just got to step up and courage. You've just got to decide I'm just going to be courageous. Yeah, and make sure that that's what you're really focused on. And I choose courage over confidence every day of the week. You know, at the rise retreat, I was sharing this with the women who attended, which I've mentioned before, don't look for confidence. Confidence is fleeting. But courage is something that you can really step into, on an ongoing basis. And it doesn't matter what I'm feeling, it doesn't matter what mood I mean, the only thing I'm asking myself is whether I feel courageous, whether I'm willing to step into courage in this moment. And so I don't really think about and I don't really care about whether I feel confident to do something, because I just don't think that it's something that we should be asking ourselves. And I love that Lisa from the blonde campaign, when we did the Instagram Live, I'll put it in the show notes, a little link to that. She was saying that really changed things for her because she's, you know, she's a mum, and she's been not in her own business for a while now. And she's like, you know, just sit and think, Oh, I've lost my confidence. Since becoming a mum, I've lost my confidence. Since I haven't done this for a long time. I've lost my confidence, as if somehow she's going to find it. And so we sometimes allow that feeling that we don't have confidence stop us from doing things. So that's why I just want you to remove it. Just get it out of the equation. Don't ask yourself the question. It doesn't matter. We are going to choose courage over confidence every single day of the week. That's what we're going to focus on. And one of my favourite things from the last couple of weeks is that Gemma Krause who joined Brand Builders Academy, she came along to the master class. And then she posted in the group and she said I felt re energised after Susan's master class, and decided to invest in myself by joining BBA. This decision has already paid off, I was approached to speak at an event in March and my initial thought was, I don't think I'm good enough to do that. But then I looked at what I'd written down during the masterclass which was step into courage and thought, no, you can do this be brave, and I booked the engagement. How amazing is that? I love it. And so I just think that's what we are always in. Am I got enough. Can I do this? I don't know if I can. And it's stopping us. It's stopping you from taking bigger action, taking bigger chances, really taking on things that you could totally do. Alright, so I'm just going to say that I think it's an important one to say as well. You have to look at the decisions you're making. And ask yourself why is the deciding factor here for me? Is it courage? Or is it confidence?
Suzanne Chadwick 10:05
What I want to share with you is how I think that you build that unwavering confidence through a number of different things. Courage being the main one. So let's talk about building Unshakable Confidence. And what that looks like. The problem that I see when it comes to competence is that you think that there's an end game to governance, a destination, like you'll get there, and then things will be fine. And you're focused on the wrong thing. And we're going to talk about what to be focused on today. And so let's talk about this competence equation and the four C's of competence. So the first one I just want to say is confidence to me is just, it's, it's a fluid emotion. Yeah. So it comes and it goes with our moods and circumstances. But courage. Courage is something you can choose to have every single day. And I think that that's what I'd really love you to reframe confidence with. Because it's, sometimes we'll tell ourselves, I don't feel confident, and it'll stop us from actually going after the thing that we want. But the question you need to ask yourself is, Do I like, will I be courageous here? Will I do something that maybe I don't think I've got the confidence to do? But hell, I'm going to give it a go. Yeah, I'm going to step up, and I'm going to make that happen. And so really just deciding, instead of focusing on worrying about analysing, whether you're confident enough, just focus on will I commit to the courage, will I have the courage to be able to do this? So I think just understanding that confidence is a fluid emotion that comes and goes, Yeah, I can, you know, something, I was saying, somebody the other day that I have, I have been a speaker coach for many, many people, CEOs, leaders in corporate, but a while ago, somebody with a severe disability disability, asked me if I would be there speaker coach, and I was like, I'm not sure I feel confident to do this, because it's new, it's something I've not done before, you know, how would I help them, you know, with the things that they need me to help them with. But I thought, I'm just gonna be courageous. And I'm just gonna do this anyway, because I'm going to learn so much in the process. And so just know that confidence will come and go. But if you step into courage, then you'll do so much more of the things that you really want to do. And I've shared before that I've interviewed over 100 Women now and was able to really understand why they lacked confidence to go after what they want. And some of these things are it I don't feel courageous, but also, it's about having an unwavering commitment, and agreement or a pledge to do something in the future. And this is really for yourself. So confidence comes from a commitment to yourself, a commitment to learn to grow, to go after an outcome, but also to fail and not let that throw you off track when it happens. You know, and I say to some of my clients, it's not about, like getting back on the horse. It's like staying on the horse, even when it's like really uncomfortable, and it's galloping, and you're like, how am I gonna stay on this? It's really about the commitment. It's, I have committed to this outcome. And I tried a few different things, and they didn't work. But I know that I can make it work. And I know that I can commit to having the outcome that I want. And so my question to you is, how committed are you to the outcome that you really want to have? And I think when I asked that question, you'll know. So you know, when you think about your business, when you think about the things that you're trying to do, out of 10, what would you give yourself if if like, unwavering commitment is a 10? Where are you on that scale? Like, what are you willing to do to get to the outcome that you want? If you want as well out of 10? What would you give yourself? When it comes to unwavering commitment? Yeah, and knowing that you're going to achieve what you set out to achieve, even if you don't do it in the timeframe that you thought you would? Even if it isn't as easy as you thought it was gonna be, even if you're not getting the momentum at the moment that you want. How committed are you to sticking with it? Because business is a long game? Yeah. It's about making sure that we're trying and testing different things, that we're giving it a go that we're failing, but then we're kind of going, okay, so what did I learn from this? And just being in that mindset, will give you so much more confidence in your own ability and in your own commitment to achieving the outcome that you want as well. You know, and I was doing a masterclass for a mastermind the other day, and somebody said to me, you know, when I was talking about evergreen content as well, she's like, there are so many podcasts out there. Like, what's the point almost, and my, my question to her was, how long are you planning on being in business? And she's like, well,
Suzanne Chadwick 14:53
forever. So the answer is, why wouldn't you start something now? So a lot of times we're looking external And we're like, ah, like, I won't be able to grow quick enough, I won't be able to get there fast enough. And at the end of the day, you've got to ask yourself, this is a long game. Am I committed to being this bold voice in my industry, to sharing my thought leadership to putting what I want out there? And who cares what anybody else's doing? Who cares? It doesn't matter. Yeah, you've just got to have blinkers on. Focus on your own patch of grass, focus on your own business. Ask yourself, am I committed to this business to what I'm doing to being a bold and powerful voice? What do I need to do in order to get my message out there. And so just do it. I was joking on Instagram the other day saying that I was in a bit of a low mood. And I said to my husband, come on, give me a pep talk. He's so not a pep talk guy. And he's like, it's fine. Just do it, which is what I obviously say to you all the time. But just know that if you want to create the content, if you want to get your message out there, then you have to be committed to whatever outcome it is that you want to have. And you've got to do the work. So don't worry about what anybody else is doing. Just know that if you have that commitment, unwavering commitment, that whatever you do, you will make successful or you will learn along the way. So I think it's just really also leaning into that too. And asking yourself, where is my commitment level?
Suzanne Chadwick 16:30
The third thing is really around self compassion. Yeah, it's being kind and understanding towards ourselves, when we suffer when we fail, or when we feel inadequate. And knowing that failure will come and knowing that you will be kind to yourself in that moment, and still hold tight to the commitment you've made is so important. Yeah. And I have, I have just gone through something that's been quite difficult. But I'm committed to the outcome. And I'm just like, Suz, it's okay to feel like this, it's okay to be disappointed. It's okay that it didn't work. But you know, something, you will figure this out like this is going to happen. And so really practising that with ourselves on an ongoing basis, means that once again, we're like, you know, something, tech, hey, I can do this, that, that emotion of confidence will come to you as well. And if this is something that you struggle with, I actually think that it's just recognising that it's recognising and saying, I'm totally committed. So what do I need to work on? If my commitment is there? What do I need to work on? I need to work on my courage I need to work on like, what does it look like to be brave for me? And you know, when I did my interviews with the 100 women, some of them were saying that to you know, I asked, What does it look like to play big in your business, some of them were like, I'd have a multimillion dollar business globally, and everybody would know my name. And somebody else said, I would just have the courage to do a Facebook Live. So what is brave look like to you, it doesn't have to look like what everybody else is doing. But recognising that that's an area you need to work on, you can start to take those baby steps towards, let me just do something that's a bit uncomfortable, but takes a bit of bravery and courage. And let me just like, you know, climb that ladder until I get to where I want to be as well. And then the fourth thing is the field is custodian, I read a book by Troy McKinna. It's called the brand hustle. I love it. I did an amazing interview on the podcast with him. And in it, it says every successful brand needs to feel as custodian. And I feel like we need this in our business as well. Yeah. So you have to take responsible for going after what you want, and keeping your space clear of negativity and naysayers. So the word custodian in the US the meaning is somebody who cleans the building. And I kind of feel like that's such a great analogy, because it's like, you have to be a fearless custodian where you're constantly cleaning the building, which is your mindset, and the drama, and all of the faff. Yeah, all of the fat and the extra stuff. So being that fearless custodian is so important, and really taking responsibility for protecting our space. So really want you to think about that. Am I being courageous? Am I you know, being having that self care? Am I committed to the outcome? And am I being a fearless custodian that clears my space on a regular basis. And so the confidence equation that I work to and that I think is really important, is that we get that confidence through knowing and learning how things work. So knowledge is power. The more you can learn how something works well, the more confident that you'll be in it. The second thing is believing that you can do it, have it and achieve it. So a girlfriend of mine she was trying to make a decision she was taking forever to make the decision. And I and then I put a podcast out at the beginning of the year called belief ladders. And in it, I talk about the fact that we can really only go after what we believe we deserve, or what we believe is available to us. So we've, you're constantly, like, you want something, but you're just not getting there. It's not just about doing the work, it's actually believing that it's available to you, and that you deserve it. And so she sent me a message because Oh, my gosh, you know, I can't make this decision. Because I don't believe that that's available to me like what she's wanting. And so she had to work on that. And so that's a really important part of the equation that a lot of people don't realise is that you've got these underlying beliefs that are actually sabotaging the work that you're doing. And you're not seeing it, because you're like, Well, I'm doing the thing, why is it not working. And there'll be other things that are stopping you, working through all the uncomfortable feelings that we have to go through to get there. And obviously, if you've not listened to Episode 146, on building confidence through discomfort with Dr. Joan Rosenberg, then you must go and listen to that, because she talks about all the uncomfortable feelings that we have to work through. And I think that is one of the biggest things that we struggle with is, it feels so strange and so uncomfortable to do certain things, that that's what stops us. So even being aware that that's what you're going to have to go through. And preparing yourself and knowing that it's coming, is going to help you as well. And then it's just going back into what we were talking about earlier. Practising courage and action daily, thought work daily and self compassion, committing to the outcome and creating results no matter how small, I think sometimes we like we're like, oh, you know, I had that success. But it was like it was just a little thing. Celebrate it celebrate the wins that you have, because it will really bolster your confidence, your commitment to it. Because you're like, Yeah, I
Suzanne Chadwick 22:00
had that win. Yeah, I had that win. Yeah, I had that win. What's one win that you've had recently, that maybe you have or have an acknowledge, like, let us celebrate with you? What is a win that you've had? Because I want to hear what you're Windsor, and being a fearless custodian of your inner circle. If you've got somebody around you that is a negative naysayer, or somebody who's just like, but do you really want to do that? Yeah, where they're not supporting you, then it's really important for you to clear that space to be that feel as custodian. And I've shared in my book, and I've shared on the podcast before that. There was a stage in my business where my husband was like, man, like, are we gonna do this? And I had to say to him, I am fully committed to this. Do not say negative things about my business. I love this. This is what I'm going to do. And yes, it's taking me a while, by the way, I'm raising two toddlers, and I've got a corporate job. But hey, but I got to have that conversation with him. And he totally changed the way that he was. It took me a little while to have it because I had to build up the courage Yeah. To be like, Dude, don't say negative things to me about my business. Support me, I need your support, because I'm doing something really brave. And I'm doing something really hard. Yes. So I really want you to, to think about what are the underlying things around you that are supporting you or not supporting you to achieve what you want? I think that's such an important thing. So I just think, you know, it's something all of these takes courage. So we have to work on it, where it takes courage to commit to things that a lot of people won't do in their life, which is start a business takes courage to be a fearless custodian. It takes courage to know and be self compassionate to, you know, to ourselves to. And I think that that's so important. And so for you what needs to change. So I really want you to think about that. Do you need to be a few more fearless custodian? Do you need to almost like recommit to what it is you're trying to do? Do you need to be a little bit kinder to yourself, and maybe you need to believe that something is available to you that you haven't believed believed up until now. So if you go to the shownotes, which is suzchadwick.com, forward slash pod 200 Because this is the 200th episode, which is crazy. I was really happy for this topic to be the 200th episode. Then there's a visual of the confidence equation that I shared in the master class that you can check out as well. But that is a message that I really I want to be known for. I want you to know get rid of it. Get rid of the word confidence. How does it feel when you just get rid of it? I think it's going to be so liberating and so freeing, and I really want you because I really want you to become that bold and powerful voice because if you do not feel confident And enough to do it, then that's what's stopping you. So just be courageous, my lovely, just be courageous. That's the only thing I'm asking of you and do the things that you are here to do. And if you've got a question then to me DM and let me know. I'm here to talk about this as much as possible. But yeah, that's what I wanted to tell you today.