Today on the podcast, I'm chatting with Tanya Fox from Fox Means Business about storytelling.  Tanya shares her story about where she's been, how and why she started her business, as well as her experiences and the lessons she learnt along the way.

Transcript

Suz: Tanya. Welcome to the Brand Builder's Lab Podcast.

Tanya: Thank you.  I'm so excited to be here.  So we did an interview on your podcast recently and we basically just chatted the whole time and I had to be so much fun.

Suz: It was so good. Wasn't it? We did actually share some helpful information and tips as well, but it was just a bit more of a chat. Which is exactly the way I like them. I have to be honest. That's so good. So for my audience who don't know you, do you want to just share a little bit about you and what you do and where you are?  Because you're obviously not on these fair shores of Australia.  As I'm looking at Tanya, she's in a big green sweater and she has a Christmas wreath hanging on her wall. It's currently November the 18th.

Tanya: Yeah, I am a sucker for the holiday season. So, I'm in Canada. So I'm in Alberta. We are deep in the throws of snow.

Suz: It looks like a winter Wonderland. It's just like a hallmark movie out there.

Tanya: So a little bit about me. Well, I started my first business in way back in 1998 and I originally was working for the government. I was an auditor, so I was the person that everybody hates to see around tax time.  And I absolutely detested my job really was a horrible job and I knew something needed to change. And it was literally one of those jobs where a bell would go off. And then you got to take a break. Cause everybody, because we were, there was like a call center. Everybody took breaks at the same time. And I remember sitting at my desk, watching everybody get up and go up for their smokes or coffee breaker to stretch.  And I thought. I can't do this for another 40 years. It is going to suck the absolute epitome of my soul out.  So I was like, I'm going to start my own business. Now, I do not come from a family of entrepreneurs-  I have the one uncle who was always selling something, cleaning barbecue business, or like, he just was always hawking something.

And, so I was like, okay, well, we're just going to do this. And I remember reading this article that said, sometimes you just have to jump. And I was like, all right. So I quit my job on the Friday. And I was so excited and I went out and I celebrated and we were like popping champagne, champagne, corks, and Saturday rolled around and I thought, what have I done? This was so dumb.  I left a good paying job with a pension and all this other stuff and okay, well, here we go. And so that I really sort of launched in very young, very naive, and really having to like now, I predate Google by age. So I went to the library to do some research on how I was going to do this.

And it just kind of went from there. And I just, I really did love it. Like it was a struggle and I remember nights eating like Kraft dinner and wieners. Cause that was like a gourmet meal. Having the highs and lows and, and I just, I really, really loved it. And, and thankfully I got good at it to the point where I could eat on a regular basis.

Suz: So what were you doing?

Tanya: So I went because I had that background in accounting. That's what I was doing. So I was doing, I started my own accounting company and then I just grew it from there. Once I had that sort of up and going, I got yeah. Bored with it. It sounds bad, but it was successful and it was doing really good, but it was sort of running like a well-oiled machine.

And I was like, yeah. I need something else. Like, I felt like the excitement was sort of like a relationship where I'm like, well, this is kind of like the honeymoon's over. And so how long had you been running that at this point when you felt like you a bit over it? Yeah, it was about four years. and then I thought, you know, let's change things.

Like I just felt like I was feeling the itch that I kind of wanted to start something else, but I didn't really know exactly what, and again, I, I was still pretty young. I was in my twenties and I thought, I remember having a conversation with my grandfather and saying, you know, I just feel like something needs to change.

And, and so he would always like, eat, answer me in riddles. And he's like, sometimes you just have to go back to the beginning. And I was like, back to the beginning, I was born in Edmonton, Alberta. I'm going to move like across the country. That's back at the beginning. Right. And so I packed my bags and, and I did that.

I moved to Alberta and I worked at it and he didn't actually mean, no, it's not what he meant at all. He just meant like, maybe think about what your passion was at the beginning, but yeah. I took it literally. And, so I, I, when I got here, of course I couldn't start a business right away because I didn't think things through, and so I worked at a temp agency and that was really great because it sort of got my feet in and I really had to learn how to network to get the good jobs and to meet the right people and all that kind of other stuff. And so what happened to your clients that you were working with before you still had them?

I ended up bringing a partner on who took over. So it was kind of, it sort of became my cash cow. Like it was just kind of running and I was getting checked. So I was happy, at least I'm, you know, and so I still had my feet a little bit in that. And then I started, out here doing books. So, I just met some people and I reached out to the context I already had already had and said, Hey.

Well, I'm out in Alberta, starting a new Western branch, which totally was not the case. Sounds great. Sounds great. We've gotten the national expansion happened. We're expanding across the country. And you know, if you know of anybody out in this area and you know, we would be happy to help. So I ended up getting a couple of clients out here and then, and then that just kind of expanded from there.

So, but again, as I was starting the branch, it was really exciting. And for the first. Three years. That's all I was doing was getting clients on and getting my staff organized, and building sort of the brand out here. So it was exciting again. And then again, I was kind of like, well, this is running smooth.

So now what? And so I started, you know, to make this long story really longer ago. I decided that I wanted to try something a little bit different. So I looked into a franchise and I ended up buying a Canada. Well, it's called Canada bread. So it's literally delivers bread to retail stores. And so it was a good, seemed like a good investment.

I got into that. with my husband at the time he had a Taekwondo studio. So I started dipping my fingers into that and growing that and making it bigger. And then eventually I decided, Oh, Hey, let's add retail because we don't have that experience. So I opened up a craft store and so we started had all these balls going up in the air and it was, you know, it was really, really exciting because there was always something to do.

And, you know, you were going from business to business and it was really exciting and there were so many lessons to learn. And then I crashed. hard because I thought, Oh, I can, I can do this. Or like, it's, it's not hard. It's just, can't it can't be that hard. And, and it was because then on top of it, I had also ended up giving birth to a child, which kind of needed my attention.

Yeah. And it was really great when he was, you know, young because, I could just haul him anywhere. He was a great baby. Like he would sleep through board meetings. It didn't matter construction. He slept through everything. So I started, but as he got older, I realized this isn't, you know, when he started walking, I thought that something's really got to change, and my health was starting to suffer because I was trying, I was trying to put every single pan I had into every single fire. I could find trying to be everything for everybody. So then I had to start. Start making some tough decisions of what I was going to let go. Yeah. And can I just ask, why do you think he did that?

Like what? Cause that's a lot to take on, like, I mean, that's like, you've still got the business, that's running back where you started, then you've got the business that's running where you are, plus the Taekwondo plus the bread, plus the craft shop. Like that's a lot of stuff to take on. Yeah. And I think like, Looking back.

I really, because I think that too, I'm like when I tell the story, I'm like, it sounds ridiculous, but it didn't all happen at once. So, you know, when we, you know, my husband had the Taekwondo studio, so he was already running it. So he taught all of the classes. I was just doing the administrative stuff and I was doing the social media and that sort of things.

So that was sort of like happening in the evening. So it didn't really seem like it was all that much. Yeah. And, you know, even with the bread franchise, I was the one who was doing the meetings and talking with the corporate office and doing the background stuff. I wasn't actually, you know, driving the truck and delivering the bread.

Although there were some nights where I had to get up at four in the morning to sort bread, which let me tell you. It's not a job. Anybody wants to do warehouse work is definitely not for me. but they all sort of progressed slowly. So at the time when I took on something new, I was like, Oh, well this is okay.

Like this will only take a couple hours at my time. And it did, the problem was is that then I wanted to grow it. And it was that growth that I didn't. I wasn't smart enough to calculate. Okay. It might only take me an hour right now, but how much time is it going to take me when I get it to the point that I want it.

And that was a big lesson for me of going, yeah. Sure. Right now it'll only take you an hour, but if you take on that client and work starts to grow now, how much time are you at? And so, because I didn't understand that and nobody told me, Hey, maybe you should consider this. when it got to that point, I was like, Oh, This isn't working.

I have 28 hours scheduled and there's only 24 hours in the day. So, yeah, it was a really, really hard lesson to learn, but I fought I'm very stubborn. So I fought for a long time through being tired and, you know, trying to be the perfect mom, trying to be the perfect wife, trying to be the perfect business person everywhere.

And I was just like, I mean, I wouldn't sleep. I mean, I would sleep maybe two or three hours. A night because something would come into my head. So I would send an email cause I was so terrified of forgetting and I was trying to. I think honestly, I was trying to keep the facade up of look how successful I am, because people would always say, Oh, you make it look so easy.

And so I felt like I had to keep making it look easy, even though in reality, I was eating pints of ice cream and drinking wine straight out of the bottle in my closet, because I didn't think I was going to make it another minute, but nobody shares that. Right. Everyone's like, Yeah, no, it was great. It was super easy.

but it, it wasn't like there was a really, a lot of tough times and then trying to make the decision of what you were going to drop. Like what business are you going to walk away from was so odd what happened? my health got really bad. It had been bad for a while. It always kind of been feeling like unwell.

I sort of had headaches. I would get, you know, my stomach would always kind of feel off. I was starting to get dizzy spells during the day and I was just kind of passing it off. I was getting chest pains and I thought, okay. Oh, I'm just, it's just stress. It's just stress. And I remember, going to see my mom and I was so excited because of course she was back across the, on the other side of the country.

And I only was able to see her for about four days and I slept for two days. Almost straight. Like I just, I was so exhausted. I would like get up to go to the bathroom and I could barely make it back to the room. And my mom sat me down and said, you're going to kill yourself. so you need to decide if this is worth it.

Like if you died tomorrow, is this the legacy you want to leave for that little boy? and that was kind of an eye-opener because I thought. Yeah, why am I working this hard? That it doesn't make it like I'm missing everything. I'm missing my own life, to try to make everybody else's life happy. so it was a hard sort of reality check.

and then, you know, to my son, you know, was starting to talk then. And I just felt like I was missing out on stuff. And I thought this isn't why. I got into business in the first place I got into business in the first place, because I wanted to make my own rules. I wanted to have my own time. I wanted to, I wanted to be able to design a life that I loved.

Meanwhile, I had designed a life. Where nobody really knew who I was, because all I was was my work and I didn't even know who I was. and that was frightening to me because I thought if all of a sudden I can't work anymore. Like, what am I going to do? And who am I? What's my identity if I'm not attached to these businesses.

And because that's all I was, my whole identity was really around what was around my work. And I thought that's a really. Sad existence. and so it was a, it was a hard reality. And I'd like to say like the first night I remember going, okay, something needs to change. And then I went home and then I fell back into old habits and then it took a, probably another like four or five months to get another reality check of, you know, ending up in the house.

Little, with exhaustion and dehydration and then a doctor just saying, well, I mean, keep going like this and kill yourself or figure your shit out. And he walked out of the room and I was like, nobody talks to me like that. But I was like, Oh my gosh, he's right. Like, you know, it's true. Why am I doing this?

Like I said, I wasn't going to do this. And here I, you know, here I am, because you do you fall back into those old habits, so easy because stuff just needs to get done. And so what did you do? So I decided to take time off, which was so hard because I'd never taken time off ever. I worked straight through, like, I would work on Christmas during lunch.

Like while everybody was napping, I would sneak down to my computer and get some emails done. And so I took two weeks and I disappeared and. I realized that all of my businesses could run just fine without me. And that was a hard ego hit to take, because I always felt that I had to be there. And if I wasn't there, then how are they going to know how to make decisions?

But I realized that what I was actually doing was wasn't allowing anybody that was on my staff, in any of my businesses to live up to their potential, and to make decisions. But. Because I was gone, they knew they had no choice and turning off my cell phone was I had to like, not bring it with me.

Cause I knew I would be one of those people. That's like, you know, in the corner trying to get a signal on a mountain, just anything, something, one bar, all I need is one. So after, you know, two weeks I really took a hard look and thought, you know, okay. What really do I want my life to look like. And, and where is it really important for me to, to spend my time?

and I had to be honest and I had to write about five lists. Cause the first one really was ridiculous. Like the timeframes I had. Didn't, they just didn't make sense. They weren't realistic. And after I really got down to it, I thought, what was the real reason? Like what was the very first inkling? What was that thought in that very young brain that I had to start my own business.

Like I had to get back to that truth. And then I had to realize that I needed to give stuff up. So I needed to sell the franchise because it wasn't making me happy. It was a lot of stress. They were going through. Like a big merger with a company. So a lot of stuff was in upheaval and I just kind of put it out there and I said, okay, you know what universe just tell me what I need to do.

And then I had to be, I had to really pay attention. Cause we ended up getting an email saying, look, we want to take your route that we had this franchise route. We want to take it and sort of delve it up. And if you're not okay with that, we can do a buyout. And I thought. You're going to buy me out. Like absolutely not.

And then I thought, no, no, no, hang on a second. Maybe this is the universe trying to go, Hey, here's your way out? so I started saying yes, when people were offering me stuff and sort of, you know, had to do the question of going, do you want this business to some of the staff, And finding out that some of them were like, I would really love to take this.

And I was like, great. Let's work on that. and for the craft store, I just closed it. because I felt like there was a lot of sales that were going around and I live in a very small town. So it's typical, small town chatter. I thought. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to put it up. the franchise took a while, took about a year and a half for all of the lawyers and everything to go through.

And I was, I was like, I was tired. I was tired of dealing with it all. So I just decided I came home one day and I said to my husband, I don't think I'm going to sell the craft store. I think I'm just going to close it. And then he was like, what are you going to do with all the inventory? And I'm like, I think I'm just going to bring it home.

Like I like crafting. And he's like, that's a lot of stuff. And I was like, still about it. I'll never have to buy applies again. And so yeah, there is an entire room in my house that's just full of craft stuff and I'm slowly get, like, it's been. it's been about two and a half years and I'm slowly getting through it and like giving it away.

But I think that that was crucial for me to just walk away. because I also knew too that if it was in town, I'd always be looking at it. I'd always be like, what's that person doing with my business? I had a lot of territory to that, so I thought it was a good, it was a good thing that I did that. And then I had to like step away from some and say to my husband, you know, I need you, I need you to take the lead, you know, at the martial arts studio and, and stuff like that.

And I just need to really back away and really think about what it is that's, that's making me happy. And that was a hard thing to do because that also meant giving up, some of the stuff like giving up. The company, the branch of, the accounting company in Ontario, which was doing well. And I didn't really do much to it except for cash checks.

but there was still that ownership. And I, if, if stuff hit the wall, I still had to be responsible for it. So giving that up was really, really hard. Cause I felt like I was just walking away from free money. I was like, this is stupid. Like, why are you doing this? But I knew. That if I had that on the horizon, I was never going to jump into something else.

I wasn't going to find the thing that makes me happy because I was always sort of, I was comfortable, but I was also like reserving some time. Like, what if they need me? What if this was happening? And then I had to realize that they didn't need me anymore. And it was time for someone else to step into that partnership role.

And I was preventing somebody else from living. You know their dream. So, that was, that was hard, to, to realize that you're not needed and that I was replaceable, which is exactly what I wanted for all of my businesses. I wanted a business that I could grow, that I could eventually sell, not have one of those businesses where it's like, if I'm not there.

This business, it's all me. And if my brain isn't there, this doesn't work. So I hit achieved that goal. but I wasn't ready to realize it. And so what was the process that you went through to figure out what it is that you actually wanted to do once you'd sort of let go of all of this. It was sitting in boredom, which was advice that was given to me, that someone said you need to get yourself really, really, really bored.

and I thought, well, I don't know. I mean, I can always find stuff, find stuff to do, and they're like not business stuff. And so that, that really helped, which I thought it sounded such like a stupid idea, like get bored. I have to get bored. But, you know what? That really helped because when I got to the point where I was like looking around the house and I'm like, okay, there's not another thing I can clean.

There's not another room I can. Yeah. Organized. What about you, Tanya? You shut up for like a year. You could have crafted. I had reorganized them all in like clear tote. So you could see all the yarn balls and like, I mean, it is really disgustingly organized in there. But, you say, now what I would have done is I would've started to craft and then I would have thought maybe I could sell this on it.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I did a couple of things like that of, you know, doing some knitting projects and, but it felt good to get back to those things that I love to do and that I was passionate. You know, for before I decided to turn it into a business and it was really, I think it was crucial for me to sort of have to realize that I wanted that as a hobby and not every hobby should be turned into a business idea.

And so when I got really bored, I started to realize what. All these ideas started coming into my head. Like where did I really suffer in business? Like where did I wish I would have had somebody to help me out? And it was those ideas that I went. I wonder if anybody else feels like this. And then I realized I was just going to start trying stuff.

I was, luckily I was in a good situation where I hadn't lost my shirt in all of these businesses. not all of them ended on a great note. Like I didn't make any money off the craft store. I kind of broke even on that one. Cause it's all sitting upstairs and stock, but, But I had enough where, you know, I know I could do a couple of months and just really search for stuff.

And then it was finding that passion to take the plunge again, to start something new, because I started doubting myself because for so long, I had done stuff that I was really good at. I'm a stellar bookkeeper. Like I can take anybody's business that's in ruin and get them completely and utterly organized.

I'm really, really good at it, but I don't love it. Yeah, I'm good at it. And, and, and it's easy for me to do, but that's just, it. It's really easy for me to do, but there's no challenge there. So what can I do that? I'm going to constantly be, be challenging myself. And then I added stuff like a podcast into there.

I'm starting to build back the list again, of projects that I have going on, but so what are you doing now? So what was, what was the thing that you decided to do and discovered was, was going to be your next, your next big thing. That would be, well, there was a few things. The podcast was really, I think what started at all.

I, I remember coming home and saying to my husband, I'm going to start a podcast. And he's like, what is that? And I'm like, it's like, Talking and he's like, you'll be fantastic. You'll make millions. I was like, all right, you're on board. And because I wanted to, I, I always felt a need that, you know, I wished other entrepreneurs would have talked to me about some of the struggles.

Cause even when I had the retail story, I remember going around to other stores and saying, you know, like, Hey, how was your day to day? And they'll be like, Oh, it was great. I was like, Really cause I had like three clients today. Like I think I made like 4 cents an hour and I didn't even make any wallets.

I guess it was really bad. And they were like, Oh my God, me too. And I'm like, What is happening here? Like why are we lying to each other? Why aren't we not just autopilot sometimes? Isn't it, it's the whole, there's two things that people say, you say, Hey, how you going? And they said, yeah, good, thanks like on autopilot.

Or the second thing is, are really busy. Those are the two responses that most people have, unless you've got a relationship with some where you're like, Oh my gosh, like I'm in a HAPE at the moment. I just think that we're majority of us are on autopilot and I think people are too scared to go, you know what?

I need some help. Yeah. And so that is sort of what I started doing was working with businesses too. Teach them about telling their story. Because what I realized, even in my small town is there was all these people that opened stores, but nobody knew why. And so I started going around and talking to them and going, like, why did you start your business?

Like, and why this, you know, why oil and vinegar? Why baby clothes, why, you know, why men's wear, like, what was your train of thought in that? And as I started. Hearing these stories. I was sharing them, Hey, did you know that this person opened the store because blah, blah, blah. And I was starting to share their stories.

And all of a sudden they were like, Hey, my store is getting busier. And I realized, this is it. This is what I'm really excited about. This is what makes me happy, is hearing people's stories and sharing them the good and the bad, and teaching people not to be scared of that. And when I started realizing that there was.

You know, a lot of return on investment for that, which was good. And it was something that I really enjoyed doing and something that I felt that I had failed at during that whole time, because I was suffering and never telling my story, so never asking for help. And I think I probably could've kept going, had I asked anybody for help, but I didn't because you're supposed to be able to do it all by yourself, right.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, I. Like for me, I love listening to podcasts that share people's journeys and stories and things like that. Like, I just think it just connects you so much more like it's, you know, as much as I love tips and all of the rest of it, I just think actually listening to a conversation.

Which is why I just wanted you to kind of share like all the details of your story, because it kind of builds one. I think it builds credibility and trust. When you can share what you've done, what you've been through, the good and the bad. It's not just like, I just like started my business and I made a million dollars and it was all easy and fabulous, everything.

I'm like, I can't relate to that. Like I, you know, I kind of started and I was working corporate job. And then I was, you know, I started with events and now I'm doing coaching. Like you've got to hear those iterations and stages of people's businesses and lives as well in order to build that connection and that trust with them.

I think. Well, and I think too, that people get, you know, they get scared because they think, well, I don't want peep, and I'm not saying to go out and air your dirty laundry. I'm so bar, like, it's not about, it's not about, you know, a sob story. But it's definitely about people want to know what is behind any brand.

I think, and I mean, you're the brand experts I'll believe that to you, but I think it's so true because I think if people don't know that you need help, even if you're like, you know, Hey, if you have a friend. that you can send to our store. We would love that. Then people are like, Oh, I know people I'll send them for sure.

You know, you see somebody fall. The first thing you do is reach out. Even if you're like a mile away from them, you're still like, Oh, I'll catch you. Right. I think it's a natural instinct. But if people don't know that you need help or even need a referral or, you know, you want somebody to recommend you or even give you a review.

If you never say anything, they're not going to do it because you don't need them. But we get too scared to go, Hey, can I get your help? I could really use your help. and here's why, here's why I need it. here's what I'm trying to build. And I think that, that, that hits the core of people, but when they know your story to it, they're almost now they become a part of the reason why you're growing this business.

It's not just you're in it to make money. I mean, you are. Let's all be honest, none of us start a business and they're like, I'm just doing it for the goodness of my heart. No, you're not. You're doing it too. Let's be honest. Cause we have to live. We have to live. Like we all, you know, I want to be rich, but I think it's also too that if people know the story of, of what's behind it, they almost get invested in it and they start sharing that because they're like, I never knew that about her, you know, it's it, it almost.

It puts a face to, you know, the store or the service or it, you know, it just, it just adds that little bit. And I think we need, we need to be willing to share those and that true for those, you know, those failure points. When we share those, we always are like, Oh, but then people are going to know. You know that I was in trouble.

Yeah. But you got out of it. So maybe you're creating a roadmap for someone else. Who's sitting in their closet, eating Haagen-Dazs and drinking wine out of the bottle, crying, going, I can do this. Like, and it was hard for me to, you know, even share those of, you know, of admitting that I was sick, that I couldn't do it all that I wasn't super mom, that I had all of those feelings.

That was a really. It was hard to do. And I remember, you know, the first time I ever told my story on stage, I thought I was going to throw up. Like, I was like, this is going to be horrible. And I was so surprised at the amount of people that said, thank you so much, because I felt like I was the only one.

And I thought, Oh my God, we have to do this more. Like, because we don't do that anymore. Right. Like, especially now in the time that we're in. We don't sit around the table and talk about stuff or, you know, admit things. It's all very glossed over like, look at my perfect life and look at, you know, look at Besson.

Look at me, peeking out from behind this tree, which you will never normally see. Like don't. Don't I look on nature risks, and you're like, you never been in the woods in your life, which I have those pictures. I I've done those pictures too, but, I think it's, and I, I really do feel that, you know, society is wanting to get back to that more, real stale.

Yeah. Yeah. They want to know no that, you know, even though you're there and you're making it big, that. It wasn't like you said, you didn't just wake up and go, Oh look, daddy handed me this beautiful business. That's pretty right. They want to know, Oh no, no, no. I struggled. I sweated. I cried. Like I've been through it all because they want to know that one.

They're not alone. And two, that there's hope. Right. Because if they're sitting in the mud and they're going, how, why is everybody else so successful? Why does everybody else live this great life? I think there needs to be more of us that go, Oh, well here, let me show you behind the curtain. Yeah. Right?

Absolutely. And so for PayPal, who was sitting there going, but how do I tell my story? So when you did your first speaking gig, where you told your story, how did you prepare for that? Did you just kind of get up and just kind of tell the story? Did you think about, well, what am I going to share and what am I not going to share?

Like, how did you decide to craft that story? It really was. I had the first line. I want it to stand up on the stage in front of these people. Cause I thought this will be brilliant. so I stood up on the stage and I said, my name is Tanya Fox and I am a failure. And then I stayed silent and. Just really looked at the crowd and that's all I had.

That's all I had kind of written on my sheet. Well, thank you for your time, but it's going to be fantastic. and it kind of started from there. And I remember like looking at myself in the mirror and saying that and going like the first few times was like, it's like a kick in the heart. Right. Cause you're like, I can't call myself a failure.

Like what are people going to think? But I realized that. The one thing that was sort of setting me apart was, That I wasn't staying stuck in that failure. And that was my biggest thing in life is anybody that I dealt with or, you know, any clients through the thing they would say, Oh, I failed. And I go, did you learn a lesson?

Oh, I learned a huge lesson. And I'm like, then you didn't fail. failure is only, only remains a failure when you learn nothing. Hm, that's a failure. if, if you screw something up or you fail at something, but you learn something or you try to learn something, then that's a success because you've learned something from it.

So you decide, are you going to keep it a failure or are you going to turn it into a success? So I sort of had that sort of thought in my head because that's what I had used to get my, you know, to get myself out. But it was really just being honest and saying, This is what happened to me. And if you can relate, here's how I got out.

and here's the nitty gritty of it. And it was really being honest of saying this isn't something that happened overnight. Like I'd love to tell you. Sure. You know, just take to vitamin C and dance around a tree at midnight naked. Your business is going to be six figures and four days, like that's not.

I'm going to stop doing that. All right. I can say if somebody were to tell me that I probably would try it. My husband would be like, what are you doing? I don't know. They said dance naked around a tree. If all else fails, you start to fall from the sky. Yeah. So it was, you know, it was just sitting there and going, okay, what is, what is my truth?

And what were the hard lessons that I had, you know, that I had to learn. And it really started with just sharing. My story of why it all started and what my dream was. And then how that changed. Because when I first started business, when I was like super young, Oh, I was going to make millions. I was going to have this big office, like on the 15th floor.

I don't even know what building, I don't know what I had in my head, but it was going to be the 15th floor somewhere. I was going to have a secretary named Tiffany, like I was going to walk in and there was going to be somebody there with like a coffee in there. Like here's your coffee Mrs Fox. And I would be like, thank you.

And get so-and-so on the line. Like, I mean, I had all these dreams go in my head, but when I got to that point, I never got onto the 15th floor. But when I got to the point where I had an office, I realized I don't really want this. It looks really great. And it was great play acting in my head. but I had to sit down and really be honest with, what, what actually did I want, what did I want that business to look like?

And I realized. All of my dreams when I first started were very materialistic and I never thought about the emotion behind it. I never thought about what do I want this business to make me feel? What do I want this business to make other people feel? and. You know, in those, you know, when we had talked about sitting in boredom for those two weeks, that's, that's what I had to discover.

What do I want to feel? What emotions do I want this business to give me? cause the materialistic stuff comes. and, and I had that and I wasn't happy. Yeah. So that was a hard realization too. Cause I thought got the big house, got, you know, got the vehicles, got the trailer, got the boat, got the ski dues, cut all of this stuff.

Not happy. How come that didn't work? Yeah. I'm a desire mapper. You would desire my paradigm. Yes. Yes. Now, not now. So Danielle LaPorte, but I was kind of like you, I was, I had a really successful high paying corporate job. I always saw, I wanted to climb the ladder to be the CEO of like a big company. that was like, it was really clear to me, like where I was heading and what, and when people, even in my twenties and thirties, people would be like, you know, Sue's like, what's your, what do you want your next career move to be?

Or what, where do you want to go? And I'm like, I'm heading to CEO. And they just used to find that really funny when I was like 22, I'm like one day I will be a CEO. Obviously I didn't realize it would be of my own business, but I was always like going to be. Sort of climbing that ladder. And then I went and I did my monsters and all the rest of it.

And I just remember that I still got the photo of me and my hat and gown. And I said to my husband off to paying a ridiculous amount of money for that as well. I'm like, is this it like, is this what I've been working my butt off for? And I just think, yeah, I kind of found the desire map and it was all about deciding how you want to feel and then setting goals that help you to feel that rather than going after these things that you think you want, like the big house and the job and the car and the degree or monsters or whatever.

And it's just, yeah, it's, it's been really interesting to look at it from a different point of view now. and I think that's important for, you know, anybody who has a business to do is, is stop and take the money completely out of it. And then look emotional. It is hard to do because people thrive on that.

Right. But to take them and I come from a financial background, so I was all about like the numbers on paper, but getting all of that stuff, was great. And it was really easy because let me tell you, you can get loans. For anything. And if you even have a remote little bit of success, banks are like, well, not anymore, but then they used to be like, here, take some more money.

Oh, you want some more like, Oh, you know, you've been really going to pay it off your credit card. Let's move that up to 20,000. I never said no because why would you say no? But when I got there, I realized, Oh, I didn't think of this. Right. Cause now I have to maintain all of this stuff. And what is that going to take?

So I think taking, you know, really try to put the money aside and go, okay, let's say I have enough to make me happy. I don't have to worry about money. What emotions do I want to have? And then really taking a look, sitting down and going is what I'm doing right now, giving me these emotions. At work and at home, because I know people say, leave your work life at work and your home life at home, that doesn't work, doesn't work anymore.

It doesn't. And especially if you work at home, most people are working at home. And so that is that, that blurred line as well. And I think one of the other things that I've been realizing and working to be better at is I have got, Key things that I want to do. I've got my lease. I know what we're doing when we're doing it.

And then sometimes I'll have like an hour or two where I know that there's nothing productive for me to do right now. I've got clients this afternoon, et cetera. And my team have taken care of it and everything else, but I'm just like, well, what else could I be doing instead of just why shouldn't be yeah.

I should be doing something else. Yeah. It's like, Oh, well I've got a couple of hours this morning. What should like, maybe I should just scroll the internet or I should like, look at my website again or something. And for me I'm really like, I guess trying to step into the business that I've built and the fact that I've built it pretty well now that I don't have to be in it all the time.

So I just feel like there's a lot of. Things that we have to overcome. Like, I think that really sharing our stories. One thing to, to focus on a develop, I think not always determining your success by the big guy that sits in your bank account, which I know I speak to a lot of my community and clients about it's like, if I'm not making the money, I'm not successful.

Is another one and it depends, you know, I say, think about w w like, what does success really mean to you at the end of, at the end of the day? Because I remember even going, to see my mom, she lived on a boat and, and I remember going to see her and they didn't. I mean, people hear that and they're like, Oh, well, must be nice.

Like, they were not rich at all. Like, All and, like under a thousand dollars a month is, was what their income was. but they were the happiest people. And on this Island, they didn't have a lot of money. Like some of them lived in shocks. They were the happiest people. And I started going, I don't think happy is, is neat.

I don't, I need to stop talking, tying those two together. now I don't, I don't want to be struggling. So I mean, you still have to have the drive, but I was attaching them too much together. If I get the money, then I'll be happy. And when I flipped that around and go, I'm going to be happy. And then the money will come.

Then I started realizing, Oh, this is a lot easier to do. And it was a lot easier to make the money because I wasn't miserable. It's really what it came down to. Right. Cause you just see that you see people in, you're like, Ooh, they look like they have everything. Why are they so unhappy? Yes. so I think it's, you know, just having those realizations and being okay with asking for help, which is still hard for me to do.

I still struggle with it, but it was being honest on those times where I'm like, Hey, I need some help because. I want to keep growing, which means I'm going to keep hitting obstacles. So the bigger I got, the less I asked for help because I thought I wasn't supposed to. And I just, that's just not the case.

And I think by sharing your stories, people will hear that they'll hear, you know, they they'll want to work with you. They want to do stuff with you because they also get to know who you really are. and they want to learn from you. I love it. So good. I really know. I really enjoyed that. I think, you know, something and I sort of had to set out on the podcast before real conversations matter.

Like real conversations about where we've been and what we've experienced and the lessons that we've learned. I think they really matter in business because like you said, it just allows other people to become part of that story or to see themselves and don't fit where they don't feel so alone. Like I'm the only one that's, that's going through this say 10 hour.

Suz: Thank you so much for sharing your story. I really appreciate it.

Tanya: Oh, I had so much fun. Thank you. Now, where can people find out more about, you will have all your links in the show notes, but where can they find you? The easiest way is to probably head to my website. So it's just Fox talks, business.ca and then you can find all of my links on social media.

I'm probably the most active right now on Facebook and Instagram, but yeah. Well in LinkedIn too. I'll just find me anywhere except Twitter there, but I'm not there. I'm the same. I'm there, but not there. I will have all of your links in the show notes, but thanks so much for sharing your story with us.

And, I don't, I'm sure this will not be our last conversation. I hope not. Kindred spirit.

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