Today we’re talking about how you can learn to value your voice, share what you know and get more confident being the expert in the room.
Recently two things happened.
Firstly, someone who I love and who has a podcast did an episode and said, “Today I’m going to share 5 quick tips with you about – topic. I’m going to be quick because I know you’re busy and you don’t the time to listen plus I don’t want to bore you.”
The second thing was that I was listening to Amy Portfield’s podcast “Marketing Made Easy”. You know I love her and listen to every episode and before she started the episode she took quite a bit of time – I talking a good 5 minutes – to talk about a program she was an affiliate for and that she was promoting. What she loved about it, why she was promoting it and what it was all about.
She wasn’t rushing, she was really taking her time to go into detail and I listened to the whole thing before she actually kicked off the podcast episode.
One of the reasons that I wanted to share this episode with you is because amongst other things, I work with people to become more confident speakers, but before you even start to speak you have to do one other thing – that’s value your voice and what you have to say.
I think a lot of times we feel like we’re taking up to much space, that what we have to say doesn’t matter, or that people won’t value it. We try and rush through things or we dismiss ourselves.
I was watching a Facebook live just yesterday and the person was introducing themselves and their business which was the purpose of the live, they said I’ve been in graphic design for 10 years, I’ve work helped business grow their person brands, I’ve worked with magazine, publishers – yada yadda yadda and I immediately thought, if you’re looking to build credibility then dismissing or diminishing what you’ve done before can’ also make other people dismiss or diminish it as well.
As women I think there are some things that we can really do to start valuing our voice, what we have to say and what we’re here to do and I wanted to share those with you in the hope that you can start to feel more confident in how you show up, talk about what you do and serve those around you.
1) Number one is to slow down.
I do an exercise in my speakers workshop where I role play someone getting on stage and being really rushed, nervous, not very clear in what they’re here to do and what the people in front of them are going to get out of this time together. It’s just a 2 minute bit – and then I ask the room, how I made them feel.
The general response is that people felt sorry for me, they felt really unsure that this was going to be of value and they were wondering if they were in the right place. How you show up, the language you use and the pace of your speech determines how the people listening to you are going to feel. So if you’re rushing through things, dismissing your credentials, shortening your tips because you’re worried about time then you’re going to make those listening feel like it’s not worth their time either.
2) Explain things and give your audience or community the goods.
So as I’ve said, slow down, take the time and respect your audience enough to give them the goods in a way they can absorb what you’re sharing with them and take it in. There have been so many times when someone who I’ve been watching or listening to has said something really great and then rushed past the details of what they’re talking about and I’ve felt really disappointed. They think that if they get it out quickly and move on then people will like that better, but another big speakers tip for you is that the power is in the pace, pitch and presentation of the information you’re sharing.
It’s not about being long and drawn out, but communicate with people in a real way and not on fast forward. Depending on if you’re online or you’re physically in a room with people, if you speed through things then you’ll also miss cues from the audience if they’re with you or if you’ve left them behind. I’ve had times when I’ve been speaking at events, conferences or workshops and I’ve paused to allow people to take in what I’m saying and if I see a look or expression that is questioning then I’ll ask – does that make sense, are there any questions at this point. When you’re rushing you miss those things and then you’re really just there for you and not them.
3) Run your own race
I think we look at what everyone else is doing and we compare ourselves or we try to be the “me too” brand and copy what we think is working for them. Building a stand out brand is about finding your own unique voice, doing things your own unique way and talking about the things that you believe.
I’ve always said to my clients that we can all learn the same things but it’s your view on the world and how you take everything that you learn (even if others know the same information) and it’s your thought leadership, your conclusions around it that make what you do and saw different. Something you may or may not realise is that your opinions of the world are shaped by your experience, your values and beliefs and so it’ll always be different to someone else view.
Even though I might follow people who have similar values to me it’s their stories, knowledge experience and the mix of all that, that makes them attractive to me. It’s not just their successes but it’s their failures or mistakes that also make them great because they’ve been through it and they’ve learnt.
So value your voice, your lessons, your own thoughts on things and learn to just share what you have.
4) Take note of your self-talk
If you are rushing through things ask yourself why.
Why do you feel the need to rush?
Do you feel like you’re sharing something of value?
I’m guessing the answer’s yes otherwise you probably won’t be doing what you’re doing – so if it’s of value then make sure you take your time to tell them.
I’ve found there are a lot of things from our childhood where people rushed you when you were trying to tell them something – something I’ve had to really learn with my kids is to just sit and patiently listen to what they are saying even if it take 15 minutes – because what they say is important to me.
So if you’re finding that you’re auto response is to rush, get it out, don’t bother people, you know thinking that they don’t have time for this – then you need to start to recognise that and reframe it. There are some podcasts that are long but the information is sooooooo friggen good that I’m disappointed when it’s over. I will always come back to one’s that are longer and continue to listen. This is where you’re building the trust in your brand – it’s the fact you’re taking time out to connect and share with your audience and really valuing what you’re sharing with them.
5) Craft your message and share your story
When you’re sharing where you’ve come from and what you’ve done before – it’s not because you’re bragging, it positions you as an expert. If you’re sharing a story, it’s not because you’re trying to bore people – your story has a purpose and it’s part of the lesson you’ve learnt and the journey you’ve been on. We love stories, it’s one of the best ways of communicating lessons learnt, what happened, how you handled it and what you’d next time. Another tip I share in my speakers workshop is to look at all the key themes and content pillars that you focus on and build the stories that go around them. What stories can you share to illustrate your point. When you share story time stands still, people get captivated by stories and want to know what happened.
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