Suzanne Chadwick 0:00
Hey, lovely, welcome back to the brand builders lab Podcast. I'm laughing because I got so Tongue Tied when I just tried to say that a minute ago, but you never hear the bloopers, do you but just know that there are many bloopers that have happened and where I forget what I'm saying and when they're long pauses, but that is the magic of editing that we love. So if you've ever thought about doing a podcast and you're like, Suze, I make mistakes all the time, I just want you to know. So do I say to I, but you can you can learn to edit those out. If you want to create a podcast and share your thoughts and all the rest of it. You know, I'm a big one, for encouraging you to build your brand, like that. And just by the way, obviously, if you want to become a paid speaker, and also start your podcast, you can always check out the bold speakers collective at Suzanne chadwick.com forward slash, B Sc. I wasn't even planning on telling you about that. But now that we're talking about my bloopers and building your personal brand and becoming a better speaker, I thought I would just throw that in. But listen, today, I wanted to talk about this important thing. Because I shared a reel the other day. And somebody said to me in the comments. The reel was about money management. I did a whole podcast on money management. And the comment was about that they don't look at their financials and they don't have good financial habits because the fact that they compare themselves to others. And so when they look at their finances, they don't feel very good, because they're always comparing themselves to others. And so I thought that this was a really important conversation for us to have. It's something that I talk about in BBA. It's like our hot ones, this whole module on bold mindset. And comparison. Itis is a really big issue, especially when you work in the digital space. Because obviously we're online, we're seeing what everybody's doing. And so it's natural. I just want to say that first off, it's totally natural. But today, what I really want to talk to you about is how comparison could be killing your business. And let's just be honest, it's always killing your joy, if you're comparing. So that's what we're going to talk about today. I can't wait to dive into this episode. If you've got any questions that you want me to answer on the brandbuilders Lab podcast. DM me at Suzanne Chadwick and let me know because we're going to be doing some q&a episodes as well, which I'm super excited for. Also, let me know Are you enjoying the shedule where we are dropping more episodes? Because I have got so many ideas. I got so many things I want to share with you. So I'm excited to do that. So don't forget if you want to ask me a question, which I will answer on the podcast, then drop me a DM at Suzanne Chadwick on Instagram, I would love to know but listen, let's dive into today's episode. Okay, so let's talk about comparison. Comparison. Itis what is it? I think we all know what it is. But it's basically where we look at other people what they're doing, what they're earning, their life, what they buy, where they live, all of the things, all of the things, we could be looking at their business, we could be looking at their wardrobe, we could be looking at their life, we could be looking at their opportunities. And we compare ourselves we say why am I not there? Why don't I have what they have? And it makes us feel like poo? Yes, that is the technical term for it. It makes us feel like rubbish. And we have to ask ourselves, is that how we want to feel it? Do we want to be comparing ourselves? What is that a good use of our energy, our time our thoughts? Or the rest of it? Or are there better things that we could be doing? And what we don't realize a lot of the time and I talk to clients about this a lot is that if we don't deal with it quickly, if we don't deal with it in a way that's deliberate and intentional. It can 100% kill your business. It can kill your confidence, and it can kill like where you want to take things because you're allowing yourself to get consumed by what other people are doing and I think that there are A lot of things that are shared online where we talk about, you know, create before you consume. And the reason that somebody said that is because when we consume, we sit in comparison, and I find that tick tock is probably a place where because I'm sitting in the sock right now, because I'm still learning how to use it, because I'm still learning how to find my groove with it. But I watch other people, and it's so it seems so easy for them. And so my thought has to be not why am I not like that? But my intentional thought with it is how can I learn from this. And so there are a number of things that you can do, if you find yourself in comparison, the first thing is to acknowledge it. And I love Brooke Costello's said, ages ago, when I was listening to something to one of her podcasts is that she said, sometimes when we look at something, and we compare ourselves, or, you know, we're wishing for whatever it is that that person is doing. And we it doesn't make us feel good. Sometimes that's our brain our mind saying to us, we want that. And so you can either sit and be in the feeling of I want that or like I feel awful about it. Like, why don't I have it? And you can be that what are we being? We're being the emotional toddler, I want to why can I have it? Yeah. Otherwise, we can look at it and acknowledge it, and say, Wow, I didn't realize that was something that I want. And I've spoken about this on the podcast before. But you know, I've seen Brooke do a huge event, where there's like, you know, 300, or more people, and she's coaching. And it's, you know, she's got panel discussions going on i That to me, I'm like, Ah, I want that. But what it does is that it's showing me what is possible for me. And so instead of me feeling like, less than, which is exactly what comparison does, when when I'm feeling less than because I look at that, what I'm actually going to say to myself is how can I get that? So it's a proactive response to the feeling of I want that. Instead of emotional toddler, I'm being co mine, right? If I want that, what would it need to look like? What would I need to build? Who would I need to work with? What would it cost? Where could I have it? All of those sorts of questions, I'm being more proactive when I see myself in a want, rather than feeling less than that I don't have. So that's the first thing acknowledging the comparison that you might be in or the want that you might be in and asking yourself those questions. And the thing is, is that you might ask yourself the question and say, do I want that? So when you find yourself in comparison, ask yourself the question, do I want that? And if the answer is yes, you want that, then you go into proactive action of okay, if I wanted that, what would it look like? But sometimes we compare ourselves and we say, I don't have a house that big, or I don't have a car that fancy or whatever it is. And you might say, but do I want that? And the answer will sometimes be No. And then it's really interesting. Instead of just sitting in the emotion of thinking that you want it, you're actually like, No, I like the look of it, but I don't want it, I don't need it. So sometimes I'll give you an example. Sometimes I see really beautiful designer bags, and I'm like, Oh my gosh, that's so beautiful. But then I asked myself, do I want it? And I'm like, no, because I'm not a big handbag person. Like, I'm almost like, the smaller the bag, the happier I am. So I've got like a little gold, you know, crossbody bag, and I love it. And it's small and exactly what I want. Sometimes I see these big bags, I'm like, Oh my gosh. So like, oh my gosh, this is so lovely. And I and I think that I want it but then when I actually dig down, I don't. And so when we start to question ourselves, we can get through that feeling a lot faster and actually identify the things that we want and we don't want. The second thing around comparison is that you've really got to make a decision about how you want to create your space, how you want to edit your space. And so I've shared this many times is that when it comes to comparison, I clean my space out, I meet people I block them. I don't follow certain people. And so I'm really curating a space that brings me more joy that helps me to show up in a better way that allows me to have my thoughts without me thinking Oh, have

I got that from somebody else? Did I hear somebody else say that? Was that my thought? And I think that what happens is that a lot of times when we are constantly consuming other people's content, sometimes it's hard to know what was our thought and what was their thought. And I think that that can also shake our confidence. Sometimes, I know that I've worked with clients before, where they're like, I've come up with all these things, but I'm too scared to put them out there because I don't know whether they will my thoughts or whether I've regurgitating somebody else's thought. And so that has stopped them from moving forward, too. So really curating your space, and asking yourself, what do I need to do, in order to not put myself in this situation in order to create a space where I feel like I'm creating from originality, and from purpose and from intention, and from focusing on my thought leadership, my experience, my stories, and also what my clients need from me as well. And so just think about how you're going to do that, and what it's going to look like for you. And really think about, if I was in a space where I was fully myself, and creating from originality, and feeling amazing about what it is I'm doing, what would that look like. And so, really thinking about how you want to be and who you want to be around, I think is just so worth your time. But really catching yourself in those moments. And like I said, before, there's a few people I follow on, say, tick tock, where I really liked the way in which they deliver content. And so I'm trying to learn how I can do it in my own way, but learning from a few different people. And so that's where I'm not in comparison, but I'm in the learning mode. And I think they'll if you can get into learning mode and get out of comparison, I think that's a great thing. You know, when I wrote, or when somebody wrote the comment on the reel, about looking at other people's revenue, and then not wanting to look at your own because it's not as good. It goes back to my story about Omar doing daily podcast and getting incredible results. And me saying I want those results, but not doing the work. And so we can also sit and go, I wish I was earning more money. I wish I was getting as many sales as that person. But it is going back and saying, Well, am I doing everything I can to make that happen? How can I learn how to do that? How can I figure out what I'm not doing so that I can create the results that I want? And so this is something that you can control, I just really want to tell you that I think sometimes we feel like we're at the mercy of the internet. And can I tell you we're not, we're not we choose where which spaces we're in. We choose how much we scroll, we choose who we follow. And so don't be a victim in your business. Don't be a victim of but that's just like, that's what I say. And that's how it is. And I have to look at all of that you don't have to look at any of it. So think about are you in proactive, asking questions. Do I want this? Are you in proactive cleaning up your space, making sure that you're creating a space where you can thrive and have great thoughts and not be in comparison and the negativity? And also then saying if they have that and I want that what is the work that needs to be done and what do I need to learn in order to get that result? Like be the CEO not the emotional toddler. I feel like I say that to you just about every week. So really catch your behavior, catch your thoughts and know you can be in control. You can be intentional and you can design the business that you want and the environment in which you grow your business as well.