On the 14th of September to the 17th of September, Dr. Marion Piper and I attended Unleash the Power Within with Tony Robbins, live in Sydney Australia.
It was an incredible event with so many lessons learned and we wanted to bring you this fireside chat to share some of those lessons.
Reflecting on the experience, even just for this podcast, has yielded so much already. THERE'S SO MUCH.
Okay, here we go….
Why you went? What you want more of right now:
Marion: I went because I did UPW in lockdown in 2020 and promised myself I would go. But also because I know how powerful full immersion is for learning and have been feeling like I've lost some of the magic lately. I want more opportunities and possibilities in my life, so I knew Tony would remind me that I can achieve anything I want!
Suz: For me, I had a knowing. I wasn't really sure why I booked, I just knew that I needed a jolt in my business and life. It's so easy for things to just tick along and you get into doing the same thing over and over again.
Biggest takeaways from the events:
Marion: An extraordinary life doesn't just happen… YOU HAVE TO CREATE IT YOURSELF! And it's yours for the taking if you're willing to let go of all the BS (belief systems) that hold you back!
Suz: To Decide – You have to decide to do something. When you're half in and half out, you're out. I will love my body strong, I will show up and go after the business & life I want, I will pursue opportunities and relationships that light me up. Not…I really want to, or I wish I could (passive)- but I will and I MUST
We started with an exercise called extraordinary life – what came through for you doing this?
Marion: A creative life, a life on my own terms, deeper connections with my friends and family, work that made an impact, a life partner that challenges and supports me. Participating in bigger cultural conversations that change the way we think and feel. My words inspire people to feel their pain and transmute it into something purposeful!
Suz: Making today count came through in a big way for me. Showing up today and making it happen. We live in the future so much – that goal I'm going for, that thing I'm going after, but what can I do today? Playing all out
6 human needs – what did you discover about yourself as we worked through these?
The 6 human needs are – Certainty, Uncertainty/variety, Significance, Connection/Love, Contribution, and Growth.
Marion: Oh man, haha, uncertainty and significance are my top two. They have been powered by my beliefs and have brought so many amazing things into my life, but I'm in a different chapter now and need different things: I need growth (constant improvement and expansion) and contribution (to build, give and be part of the community).
Suz: I had no idea how much I had leaned into certainty over the last few years and I wondered why my life felt boring. So I know that I need to shift from 70% certainly/ 30% uncertainty to 30-40% certainly and 60% variety in order to get more fun back in my life. Significance is also one for me and I want to shift that to contribution in a big way.
We went through a lot of exercises and frameworks, what would you say are your top 5 things that you're committing to or adopting?
Marion: It's the basis of everything and starts in the body. Focusing on building good energy daily is now my main priority!
Suz: Yes I'm the same. I'm a huge believer in “the energy you put out is the energy that is received”. So I loved “Make Your Move” – it's like a daily call to arms.
I'm also listening to music that hypes me up and gets me in a good mood. When things have been challenging, instead of staying in the negative feeling, I'm trying to pull myself out of it more and smile, listen to music, and be grateful for something – because you can't be mad or sad when you're in gratitude. That was a big one for me.
Also, Charisma is being in a beautiful state. He talks about 2 states – beautiful state – high energy, peak state and then suffering – low energy state.
2. Meaning and emotions:
Marion: Understanding what they are and how to process them on an even deeper level than before. Using them as fuel for my goals, particularly curiosity and determination!
Suz: Patterns – everything that we do and the results we get are based on our patterns. So what are my patterns? What are the things that I do all the time that don't serve me? What pattern do I need to change?
Our beliefs become self-fulfilling. If you think you can, you can, if you think you can't, you can't.
3. Focus on the WHO not the HOW:
Marion: Rather than asking ‘how' to do something (which drops us into uncertainty), I'll ask ‘Who has done it before that I can model' or ‘who can help me'.
Suz: Big YES from me on this one too. I've just thinking a lot about this. Who do I love on TikTok that I can learn from? What else do I want to do and how do I find someone who is great at that?
4. Execution > Knowledge:
Marion: Once I know what I want, taking massive action is one of the most important things. Also complexity is the enemy of execution – make it simple.
Suz: Clarity – we often don't get what we want because we're not clear on what we want.
5. Change your approach:
Marion: Keep changing it until I get what I want, rather than doubting or questioning MYSELF.
Suz: Yep, there is always another way – there is no point where I've tried it all and that's it.
Suz Chadwick [00:00:00]:
Welcome to the Brand Builders Lab Podcast. I'm your host, Suze Chadwick, certified business and mindset coach, author, and speaker. Each week we'll be talking about simple but powerful business and mindset strategies that will help you build a lean, clean, and profitable business so you can learn to get out of your own way and pay yourself more. Forget average. It's time to level up. Hey, lovely. Welcome back to the podcast. Amazing to have you here.
Suz Chadwick [00:00:28]:
I am so excited to share this episode with you. Now, first of all, there is some spicy language, so if you have small ears around, just a warning before we dive in. The second thing is that this is a long episode, so settle in. You may either need to come back to, you know, if you're like me and you go for long walks, then this is the perfect episode for you. I went to which I shared with you already. I went and saw Tony Robbins a little while ago, and I wanted to do a debrief episode with Marion, Dr. Marion Piper, who is a very good friend of mine and who came along to this event with me. And so we have done our debrief.
Suz Chadwick [00:01:10]:
It's super long. So I've split it into a part one and part two so that you can listen to both of those. And it wasn't like a super, super long episode. But listen, I never want to assume so if you don't know who Tony Robbins is, he is like one of the top life and business strategists in the world. He's an author, he's a coach, he's a speaker, he runs seminars. And one of the ones that we went to was Unleash the Power Within UPW. He also does Date with Destiny, Business Mastery, and a few other things. But he has been around for a long time.
Suz Chadwick [00:01:48]:
He's worked with top sports performers, presidents, and everybody in between when it comes to managing their mind and their money. And yeah, if you don't know who he is, I'm sure if you go Google him, you will discover all of the things. Today, we are sharing with you some of our biggest takeaways from UPW, things that we're really reflecting on in our lives. This is definitely a fireside chat with Marion and I. It was such a fun episode to do, and even listening back as I was editing, I'm just ah, like it's. So, so good. So I hope that you enjoy this episode. You can also watch the video on the Show Notes page.
Suz Chadwick [00:02:31]:
If you've got any questions or thoughts, feel free to message us. Otherwise, let's dive into this episode. Marion, welcome back to the podcast.
Dr Marion Piper [00:02:42]:
Thanks for having me. I feel like this is the level of energy we need to bring to this topic. Get my bum in a peak state.
Suz Chadwick [00:02:52]:
So, so good. So, as my listeners may know, if you follow us on Socials, you may know Marion and I went to UPW, which is Unleash The Power Within with Tony Robbins live event for four days in Sydney this year. It was like two weeks ago now. I think it was like a week or two.
Dr Marion Piper [00:03:11]:
Oh, my God. Not even two. It's like a week. A week.
Suz Chadwick [00:03:16]:
It was a week ago. As I said to Mary, I said, You've got to come on the podcast. We've got to do a debrief. I've been not talking about it because I'm like, I have to wait. I have to wait till the podcast so that we could get into it. But I'm super excited. But listen, before we get started, obviously you've been on the podcast before, but for my listeners who don't know you, Marion, who are you?
Dr Marion Piper [00:03:39]:
Oh, gosh. Who am I? Insert existential crisis here. Just kidding. Just kidding. So for those who don't know me, I'm Dr. Maz. I am a writer, an author and a speaker. I predominantly practice creativity, coaching and copywriting.
Dr Marion Piper [00:03:59]:
So I work a lot with startups, creative agencies and creative small businesses around what they say and how they say it and how they can be more.
Suz Chadwick [00:04:08]:
Creative in life and love it so good. And some of that did come out when we were at Tony Robbins as well, which we're going to get into. But what I thought we would do today is because it was just so much that happened, I am trying to narrow it down a bit and focus our conversation, otherwise we would be all over the shop. But I kind of wanted to start with, why did you decide to go to UPW Live? Apart from the fact that I asked you, but apart from that, why did you decide to go? Why now?
Dr Marion Piper [00:04:44]:
Why now? Oh, man. So maybe some other people out there did this. But we were lucky enough at the end of 2020, where Tony and his team, they ran unleash the Power within, virtually on the Australian time zone. But outside of that, all of his events are in US time, which makes them basically the middle of the night. So I was lucky enough to do UPW. I think it was this time in 2020, when in Melbourne, we were in the thick of that super long lockdown and I was living alone and I was really craving connection. And this event was just it was so significant. And I think it marked kind of like a commitment to me for my own personal development.
Dr Marion Piper [00:05:35]:
I'd sort of dabbled. I dabbled here and there over the know. I'd read a little bit of this book, did a little bit of know, whereas I think this one thing that Tony's really good at, putting all of our feelings and preconceived notions about this man and how problematic he can be. Putting all that aside, what I loved about his work is that it's so simple that you feel like an idiot if you don't implement. Like, I love a framework, and I know you're the same Susie. We love a little framework to make things easier. And so when I finished the event, I made myself a promise that I would, next time he came to Australia, that I would go and do it live because I wanted to be in the room. Because on the zoom call at that virtual event, it was twelve and a half thousand people or something insane, so he can draw a crowd.
Dr Marion Piper [00:06:28]:
And having gone through that, I wanted to be in the room to feel that energy live, because it is really different being at home in your PJ, looking at a tiny computer screen versus a stadium of 9000 people. So that was definitely part of it. And it took him, what are we, 2023 or three years to come back. So it was a long, long time between gigs, which he was very open about sharing with us. And so that was part of it. Another part of it was the last year in business, I think has been just like a shit show. Like, I'm just going to call it. It's been really freaking hard to stay on course and to not get distracted and not get beaten down, to not dip into the negative.
Dr Marion Piper [00:07:18]:
And so similar to you, because I know you were sort of saying that you wanted that jolt. I was really ready because I just also left a part time job and I was sort of in the process of recommitting to my version of a creative small business and doing it again. This time I feel like I'm getting, like, a second opportunity to do that. And so I thought, okay, this is going to be a really great opportunity. And I think we booked our tickets at the end of last year. I feel like it was that long ago. So I was also giving myself a little personal health, a high five in the depths of my sadness and feeling so down about business that I managed to book this in so long ago. So, yeah, it was partly wanting to feel the energy in the room and then also give myself sort of put a stamp and go.
Dr Marion Piper [00:08:14]:
From this point on, I'm not going to doubt myself anymore. I'm just not going to do it. It's just like, not an option.
Suz Chadwick [00:08:21]:
Dr Marion Piper [00:08:23]:
Suz Chadwick [00:08:27]:
So amazing. So yes for me. So at the end of last year, and I don't know that we talked that much about you doing UPW online, I don't know that we had, like an in depth conversation about it, but at the end of last year, for some reason, I must have seen Oprah do it or something like that. It's like the walking on the coals.
Dr Marion Piper [00:08:48]:
Suz Chadwick [00:08:49]:
And I said to my husband, I still remember this, we were sitting outside summer Melbourne, sitting outside in our backyard, and I said, I want to walk on. Like, that's exactly what I said, and he was like, all right, are you like right now? Or I'm going to I'm going to walk on fire. Don't ask me why. Don't ask me why. That was a thing that I wanted to do, but I just knew I wanted to do it. And then probably within a month of that, because your phone's always listening, the Tony Robbins thing came up and it was the walking on fire, the firewalker experience. And so, yeah, I contacted you and I'm like, let's go. Like, I want to go.
Suz Chadwick [00:09:30]:
Do you want to come? You were a big yes at the time, for sure, but, yeah, for me it was really interesting. I don't know why I booked it at the end of last year. I just knew that I wanted to do and I a bit like you. I have never been like, a massive Tony Robbins fan. I love what he talks about. When I've dipped in, I've always been pretty interested, but I haven't read a lot of his books and I haven't listened to loads of his stuff. I've listened to some, but it's so interesting. There was just a knowing.
Suz Chadwick [00:10:07]:
Yes, there was just a knowing. And so one of the things that he talks about as well is we can either say, like, we can listen to the nose, as in nos, or we can have the knowing, which is really just listening to your intuition and really committing to what you know and not listening to other people around you and just going for it. And so I feel like that was such a knowing for me at the time, and I didn't know why. I can honestly say I didn't know why. And then, as like you said, this year has been a total shite show and it's been really tough. It's been tough for my clients. I've had a hard year. There have been a lot of ups and downs and I think that also we talked about this too, when we were away.
Suz Chadwick [00:11:01]:
But committing that time to our own personal development and committing the time to us putting ourselves in an immersive state and space and place where we get to be us at our most incredible selves as well.
Dr Marion Piper [00:11:23]:
Yeah. And the other thing I was reflecting on too, as you're saying that it sort of clarified for me a little bit, is like, if you run a business, whether that is a team of thousand people or you're just a solo operator, you're a leader. You are a leader. I don't care if you're ready to embrace that or not. But the fact of the matter is you've made a decision that you're not going to be a follower and you're going to do something different and you're going to create something new. And there's certain things that go along with that that I think a lot of people are either afraid to accept and embrace, like the fact that other people look to you. They look up to you, your family, your friends, your peers, your colleagues. And I think that was something that really came out of this event, was that we all have the opportunity to be a leader.
Dr Marion Piper [00:12:12]:
And that, to me, I hadn't really thought about what I was doing in that same way. Because day in, day out, you're in the thick of it. You're working with your clients, you're trying to find new business, you're marketing, you're selling, you're looking at your numbers. We forget that just by doing what we're doing, by showing up and being visible, we're leading. And it's so important. And it's so important to cultivate that skill and that belief, right?
Suz Chadwick [00:12:38]:
Yes, 100%. Yeah. So I think that we have to make space, like you said, to cultivate that, but to put ourselves in places where we can nourish ourselves from a time and space. Obviously, going away for four days and just being in a place and for me, being in a room with 9000 people who are there to explore themselves, make their lives better, elevate their thinking, go after what they want. I'm just like I don't know that I have ever been in a place, live in person for four days from 839 o'clock in the morning till 830 at night, where you're just surrounded by people who are there to do that. And I think that it's such an incredible experience. And I'm just like, how can I put myself in more of those types of rooms? Maybe not with 9000 people every time, but how do I put myself in more of those types of rooms? And for me, closer to the date, I just knew, and I shared on my socials that I knew I just needed a jolt, like a massive jolt in my life, in my business, in my mindset. And I discovered why when we got to the event, why I really needed that and why it was so important.
Suz Chadwick [00:14:04]:
But it gave me the jolt that I needed. It gave me the opportunity to really question how I am showing up in my business for myself, and also how I really learned how to manage my emotions to activate the most optimal me.
Dr Marion Piper [00:14:29]:
Yeah. And for everyone listening, she's not bullshitting, because I was there and I saw it. We're not just like, talking out of our bums here, people. This is real life. This is real life. We live this stuff.
Suz Chadwick [00:14:46]:
We did. Yeah. I'm so here for it. I'm so here for it. Awesome. Okay, cool.
Dr Marion Piper [00:14:52]:
So many things.
Suz Chadwick [00:14:56]:
Okay, so before we dive in, I just want to give you a little bit of a little bit of an overview. So one of the things that we do when we go to UPW and that Tony talks about is getting into a peak state. So one of the activities is obviously music is a massive one, but there's another one, and if you watch the video, which I will be posting. There is a thing that where he says, make your move. So when you make your move, it is a move that you make that gets your body moving into a peak state. So you get to choose whatever that move is. Mine was a bit of a hectic punch in the air kind of thing. Double fist in the air.
Suz Chadwick [00:15:39]:
Marion's was a bit of like a karate. I feel like it was a warrior move. But it was really interesting because that throughout the event was a real anchoring. It was such an anchoring thing where he would just be like, make your move, and everybody would make their move. And it's all about us getting our body into a state that helps our mind to be in its optimal state as well. And so that was something that was really fun. And so I feel like we're both kind of in that state at the moment where you've kind of primed yourself. And it was really interesting because I have always done that as a speaker, but I didn't really I knew what I was doing.
Suz Chadwick [00:16:28]:
But it was interesting to listen to the science behind it, where before I get on stage, I'm really revving myself up. Like, I'm positive thinking, I'm revving myself up. I'm projecting and visualizing what the outcome is, how they're going to feel, what it's going to be like. And I feel like that is what we did as well. So I just kind of wanted to share that with you because I think that was a really incredible thing to learn to do that I think that anybody can do. In your office, by yourself, wherever you are. To put a smile on your face, shift your body with intention, listen to music, create the energy that you want and embody that fully. So we are going to be in a peak state, as he calls it, for this interview, because we're going to talk about this later.
Suz Chadwick [00:17:27]:
But the energy you bring is the energy that's received. And so I think that that's such a big thing. Yeah.
Dr Marion Piper [00:17:34]:
Suz Chadwick [00:17:36]:
It ain't Sunday, but we're preaching. Take me to church, sue.
Dr Marion Piper [00:17:40]:
Take me to church.
Suz Chadwick [00:17:43]:
Amazing. All right, cool. So let's talk about what was like one of the biggest takeaways from the event. We're going to have a lot of takeaways, but what was one of the main ones for you?
Dr Marion Piper [00:17:53]:
Yeah, man. Yeah. When I was reflecting, I was thinking about this. If I had one sentence that I could kind of give to people if who hadn't been there and were interested in it, it's that an extraordinary life doesn't just happen, you have to create it for yourself. And it really is like an extraordinary life is yours for the taking if you're just willing to let go of all the shitty beliefs that you've picked up along the way. And it sounds really tokenistic and it sounds really abstract and fluffy and woo woo, but it's really not, because what does an extraordinary life mean? It's whatever it means to you. Your extraordinary life is going to be different to mine, just as it can be different to somebody else's. And that was, I think, one of the takeaways that I loved is that it really drove home the point about how different we all are, but how the same we all are in those differences.
Dr Marion Piper [00:18:51]:
And so there's something that's really unifying about that feeling when you kind of realize, like, oh, actually, what I want, the life that I want to create, is actually not that far from where I am now. And if it is far, that there's ways to get there. So I think that's what it came down to for me. But what about you? What was your biggest takeaway?
Suz Chadwick [00:19:11]:
Well, I mean, just on that as well, I think that when we talked about what an extraordinary life looks like, number one, I don't think a lot of people ask themselves that question. So we want an extraordinary life, but we don't sit and take the time to get really clear. And clarity was such a big message from the four days as well, like, getting really clear on what it is that you want, what you're going after, what an extraordinary life looks like. And so we spent some time doing an exercise where we wrote down, like, what does that extraordinary life look like? And I think just having that clarity is like, step one, that feels so basic, but that we don't really do. So. Yeah, I love that. And I was reading back on my notes as well about what I'd written down as far as what an extraordinary life looks like. But for me, one of the biggest takeaways that I really loved was to decide, yes, make you move, make you.
Dr Marion Piper [00:20:11]:
Move, make a move.
Suz Chadwick [00:20:14]:
So for me, you just have to decide on it. So sometimes we're half in and we're half out. And if you're half in and half out, like, you're out, you're just out. Let's just be honest with it. So for me, it was like, I'm going to love my body strong, I'm going to show up, I'm going to go after the business and life that I want. I will pursue, I must pursue opportunities and relationships that light me up. Not like, oh, I'd really like that, that'd be really nice. How passive is that? And it's almost like a combination of the two, of having clarity of what an extraordinary life looks like to you and then deciding that you must go after what it is that you want.
Suz Chadwick [00:21:03]:
Not kind of being like, oh, this is what an extraordinary life would look like. Jeez, that'd be nice.
Dr Marion Piper [00:21:10]:
Nice for some.
Suz Chadwick [00:21:14]:
Nice for some.
Dr Marion Piper [00:21:15]:
Must be nice.
Suz Chadwick [00:21:16]:
Must be nice. So, yeah, so for me, it was almost testing, like, what am I willing to do? What must I do? What am I going to go after? What will I decide not to be half in, half out, but what am I deciding is going to be the path forward, whatever that might be, whether it's in my life, my relationships, the business, like, just freaking decide. Suzanne yes.
Dr Marion Piper [00:21:43]:
And also, too, part of what I loved is when he talked about the word decision itself, as it comes from Latin decisio or whatever, which means to cut off. So it's not deciding and then going, well, if this doesn't work out, I've got this backup plan. It's like, Nah, baby, we're burning the boats, we're taking the boats to the island. We're burning the boats on the island. No one gets away. We live here now.
Suz Chadwick [00:22:08]:
Yes. And I think that it's such an interesting thing with the business, too, because so often we do think, oh, but I've tried everything and I've done everything and all the rest of it. And I think know, making the decision that it's always like making the decision that I haven't done everything, like making the decision that there is no, I've done it all, I've tried it all, et cetera. I think that that's such an important thing as well. Like I heard years ago, I think Amy Porterfield shared that Tony used to say that all the time, like, if you want to take the island, you've got to burn the.
Dr Marion Piper [00:22:50]:
It'S also, it's making the decision that you're not going to stop until you get what you know. It's that real dogged underdog. Like, I am just relentless in my pursuit to get what I want and I'm going to get weird about it rather than just doing what everybody else does, which is maybe I'll give it a shot once or twice and then I'm going to stop because it's too hard and it's so much effort. But what if this time you tried three times or four times or five times, eventually something's going to happen if you just keep going. And that, to me, was like, I'd kind of forgotten that a lot of the things in my life that I've achieved so far have been because I've had absolute clarity, I had absolute certainty about the fact that it was going to happen. And then I just didn't stop until it happened. I just moaded. I just moaded, moaded, moaded, moaded.
Dr Marion Piper [00:23:45]:
And I think COVID really threw a spanner in the works for that for me, in that it was this huge taking away of so many things and with all the rules and the restrictions, I couldn't do my usual, like, I'm just going to be beating on the door until it breaks. I felt really, mentally and geographically, really boxed in. So, again, this is why this event right now is so powerful, I think, is because it's that reminder that, oh, actually, if we want things to change, if we want a new life, if we want a new world, we're going to have to create it. And we're going to have to be kind of a bit more relentless about it than normal, especially considering the environment that's now around us.
Suz Chadwick [00:24:27]:
Yeah absolutely. And I think that whole clarity of certainty it is kind of saying to yourself how bad do I want this?
Dr Marion Piper [00:24:34]:
Yeah or do I even want it or is this something that I just think I should do or that I think I should want or that people expect from me? Which is one of the key takeaways he talks about is that the quality of your life is determined by the expectations of your peer. Oh it burns so good. It burns so good.
Suz Chadwick [00:24:58]:
I mean let's talk about that because I did love the story. We're just going to go all over the shop. I've like asked Marion a number of questions which we will get to but that story really hit home for me as well. So the story is basically that he went and spoke to like 5000 marines and obviously the marines are at the highest level of their performance and standards and all the rest of it. And the general asked Tony Robbins why is it that when they go home their standards drop? They don't keep those standards up? And he said that basically and I'm probably going to butcher it but basically we keep the standards of the people around us. So if the standards are not very high of the people around us then our standards will drop as well. And I feel like it marries really well with the whole thing of you are the five people that you are around or that you hang around with. But I felt like it was so much more specific.
Suz Chadwick [00:25:56]:
It was so much more specific. Not just like you are the sum of the five people that you hang around with but it's actually their standards. So it's analyzing with the people who you spend the most time with. What are their standards? Do they have standards? Are they the standards that you want to be reaching? Are they the standards that are going to challenge you? And I think that once again we kind of go through life not really thinking that much about it and you can be around people that are amazing, that are awesome. But the question is are they helping you to reach the goals that you want to be reaching? And so I think that was something that I was sort of sitting and really thinking about and sort of wondering do I need to be a bit more thoughtful and considerate about that and how do I cultivate those relationships as well? So yeah the whole standards thing was I blew my mind a little bit.
Dr Marion Piper [00:26:59]:
Absolutely. And just to put a little asterisk on that too it's specifically talking about your peer group. So it's not your family, it's not your loved ones, it's not your friends. He basically says even if they have shitty standards, you don't have to adopt them. You can just love those people, just love and support those people. But he's talking about in your career, in your goals, in the things that you want to create, is surrounding yourself with people who have higher standards than you because otherwise if they're the same or lower, you're not going to go anywhere. And so it's about choosing to pick those people, like being really careful about those people because otherwise, yeah, you'll just hang around with what's expected, which that could be fine for sometimes, but if you are like us, slightly ambitious and a little bit obsessed with growth, it's just not going to cut it.
Suz Chadwick [00:27:52]:
Thanks for the asterisks. I love that. Yes, true. So we started with an exercise which was called Your Extraordinary Life, which you mentioned was a big thing for you. So what came through for you when you did that exercise?
Dr Marion Piper [00:28:06]:
It was really interesting because I feel really grateful for how far I've come, considering a lot of the obstacles I had to jump over as a little kid and as a teen, the childhood trauma, all of that stuff. I feel like I had a few more roadblocks in the way starting from basically day Dot. And so I think because of that, because of the pain of that, it propelled me to places that I didn't even realize at the time was so extraordinary. Getting to live overseas, finishing a PhD, traveling to over 30 countries, doing all of that before I turned 30, which if I look back on it, I'm like, whoa, I was busy. So coming into this exercise with that as my background, what surprised me was that my idea of an extraordinary life was actually something that's much quieter, much more peace driven. And it's not about for me moving forward, it's not about the broadness of life, but is about the depth. So it's like wanting a bigger impact with the creative work that I do, wanting it to inspire people and I want to be a part of the bigger cultural conversations. I want to affect culture and it's deeper connections.
Dr Marion Piper [00:29:42]:
It's like living that creative life on my own terms. So it's being deeply connected to myself, deeply connected to the people in my life, being healthy and having vitality and then, yeah, having my words be the tipping point for people to take the pain that they are avoiding or suppressing and transmuting it into something purposeful. So for me, it was really around and also like a life partner because I've been single forever and wanting to attract that and also realizing that this life that I've been leading is basically the thing that has been blocking me from all these other things. So it was also an acceptance piece of like, I got to plant myself in one spot for a little while and build from that place rather than the scattergun approach that I've. Been doing, which has been to be everywhere and do everything and take on so many things at once. It doesn't mean that I can't travel or that I won't be multipassionate, because that's just who I am, but it's doing that from a much more intentional place with a foundation this time around. So there were some of the things that sort of came out for me, which again, really surprised me because I was like, oh, maybe I want to do this. But also one thing that did come up was this really yearning to be back in New York.
Dr Marion Piper [00:31:05]:
And so I don't know what that's going to look like. And this is also part of it, right, is like, I don't need to know how I'm going to get there. All I need to know is the vision that I know that at some point that's going to be part of my future. And so understanding because I don't know people who are listening. Sometimes when you want something, the first impetus is to rush into the how and go, how do I do it? How do I make it happen? But then that just makes things unclear because you're focusing on the parts of the process that you don't know. And so I sort of stopped myself and I was like, actually, I don't need to worry about that yet. Why don't I just get really clear on what that's going to look and feel like first get that in my body and then I will attract or I will find or I will research who's going to help me, who's done it before, then we can follow that path. So that was a really interesting thing because also the other side of this is, right, as someone who, people who go through childhood trauma often are really afraid to plan for the future because for a while there, there really wasn't one.
Dr Marion Piper [00:32:10]:
So this is how I know that I'm in a really good place in my life is the fact that I'm able to vision and see other things, other possibilities for myself, when for a long time, it was just survival. So that was a huge moment for me to go, oh, it's safe, I'm safe, I'm safe to dream, I'm safe to think of bigger things for myself. So that was really nice.
Suz Chadwick [00:32:36]:
I love it. So good. I think just as you were talking about New York and not getting into the weeds of how it's going to that that quote of it's amazing what the universe delivers once we decide, oh.
Dr Marion Piper [00:32:50]:
I just got goosebumps.
Suz Chadwick [00:32:53]:
Yeah, I think it's that deciding. Yeah, I think we do get so stuck in the how and what's going to happen and when's it going to happen and all of that, it's like, what if I just decide that I'm going to do this thing and then making that decision, like living from a place of that is going to happen for me. At some point. And then, like you said, knowing that just making that decision attracts what you want, and then seeing what comes up from that as well. Following the breadcrumbs, seeing what comes up.
Dr Marion Piper [00:33:25]:
Yeah. And you have to go first. This is what we there's. I don't know if it's like a complacency or I mean, definitely fear. Fear that keeps everyone in. The reason I said that, people, is because Tony kept giving a shit about the Australian accent. So he kept going, like know. But we have to go first.
Dr Marion Piper [00:33:48]:
We have to be the ones to decide energetically, emotionally, full body that that's what we want. Because the universe's answer is always yes, no matter what you ask, whether it's something good or something bad. So love that.
Suz Chadwick [00:34:05]:
So good. Awesome. So when we talked about going through the extraordinary life, I feel like a lot of what you said really resonated for me as well around deep connections, deep conversations, health and vitality relationships, like having amazing relationships. Because at the end of the day, that's what life's about, isn't it? Relationships and experiences. Those two things are basically like and growth. Let's go for the three. Yeah. Relationships, experiences and growth.
Suz Chadwick [00:34:35]:
So I think that for me, those were the three that I was really looking at. But the one thing that came through for me when we did an extraordinary life was making today count. So that came through for me in a big way, like showing up today and making it happen, because we live in the future so much that this is the goal that I want, this is what I'm going after, this is what I'm going to do in the next quarter. And being we were just talking about the fact we're both ambitious, I'm a big goal setter, I'm a big planner. And so it's like, okay, so then there's the launch and then there's the this and then there's the that. And the question that I'm trying to sit a lot more in is making today count? Like, what am I doing when it comes to relationships, connections, conversations and growth today? Because I think so often we can have these big lofty goals, and I'm all for it. I'm not saying not to have them, but I think sometimes we get so caught up in what we're going to do that we forget to do it today.
Dr Marion Piper [00:35:44]:
Thinking about that in the last week, what have you noticed? Has anything changed for you if you're thinking about making every day count? Has there been a moment where you're just like, oh, wow, I really crushed that presence thing, or any reflections since doing that?
Suz Chadwick [00:36:03]:
Yeah, I mean, I think that the whole being in a beautiful state, which is your peak state, I think I've really tried to be a lot more mindful of that. And coming back from four days of joy and growth and freedom on all of that and coming back into school holidays has been challenging.
Dr Marion Piper [00:36:27]:
Suz Chadwick [00:36:28]:
Test. Yeah. So I got sick when I got back and then it's just been challenging. And I've just really tried to I've probably succeeded about 80% of the time.
Dr Marion Piper [00:36:39]:
Marion, I would say, which that's amazing.
Suz Chadwick [00:36:43]:
Where I'm just like, okay, peak state, make your move. Like prime yourself in the morning, listen to I have my dad's party in the afternoon and just really trying to be present and think about what am I doing right now that makes me feel amazing. Even this conversation is all part of the relationship and the conversation and the connection and things like that, and sharing with my husband what the experience was like, which is really interesting for somebody that has no real access to that world or no real interest in that world, I don't know. He's just like, that's really interesting. But I just think that it's important, once again, like we said, to love the people around us, but to find those who contribute to our growth and contribute to those deeper conversations that we want to have. And maybe at some point he might get into that. Who knows? But I am not waiting because today is the day. Today is the day to make whatever I want happen.
Suz Chadwick [00:37:50]:
And so I think I'm just trying to be a lot more present in how I show up for myself and for those around me, but how I really cultivate those things around growth, connection that are really important.
Dr Marion Piper [00:38:04]:
And also, for the record, everybody, no, they did not pump us full of Kool Aid. They did not give us Kool Aid to take home. This is all completely manufactured in our own bodies and brains. It's a beautiful chemical. Little bit of oxytocin, little bit of dopamine, perfect combo. So don't panic. Don't panic. We're not going to start preaching the good Tony word.
Dr Marion Piper [00:38:29]:
But it's funny. It's actually really funny because I feel like that's the way to sort of disarm the people who are kind of very resistant or anti is if you sort of talk about it from that perspective, because it's really funny what happens when you start cleaning up your side of the street. It's really interesting to see how that affects other people around you in your life. An example of that is I sort of been talking to my dad about what I'm going to do next and where I'm going to go. More often than not, he is just like, oh yes, sounds good, sounds good. And then every now and then he just tries to just take me down a peg. And I'm sure people have people like that in their lives, where you're building a bit of momentum, you're really excited, and then they just start poking little holes in what you're doing. And so getting a new apartment, for example, my dad was just like, oh, that's too expensive for you.
Dr Marion Piper [00:39:25]:
Oh, that's a lot to maintain. Like, you're not going to be able to travel as much. And all conversations I've had in my own head and I just stopped. And normally I would get super triggered and I would start trying to argue back with him and I just said, stop. And I was like, you can actually just be happy for me if you like, and it completely diffused the situation. He was just like, oh, yeah, I am. And then we talked about something else, but yeah, just an interesting little thing that I noticed that happens when you sort of maybe you're a little happier than normal people can make some people a little uncomfortable.
Suz Chadwick [00:40:06]:
Oh, I love that. Yeah. And I think that's the other thing as well is that this is us making ourselves happy. Because you've got to remember, it's the whole thing of you've got to put your own oxygen mask on before you can help others. And I just think that if we're constantly listening to others, if we're constantly taking on other people's energy, other people's limiting beliefs, other people's opinions, then we really can't live an extraordinary life because we're not really tapping into who we are, what we want, and what helps us to perform and be at our best as well.
Dr Marion Piper [00:40:45]:
Yes, preach. Preach. It's so true. We know ourselves best and as long as it's not hurting or harming anybody, then why should it threaten other people's sense of move? Yes, move.
Suz Chadwick [00:41:08]:
So one of the other things that I've heard before so interesting, I actually have UWP UPW, UPW. I was just like, no, that's not.
Dr Marion Piper [00:41:18]:
Right, that's not right.
Suz Chadwick [00:41:20]:
I actually have UPW on Audible and I feel like I have listened before, but it didn't have the impact that it did being in the room. So I think that's really interesting. If you want to go listen to it on Audible, it is there, but if you ever get the chance to go live, do it. But he talks about the six human needs and so the six human needs.
Dr Marion Piper [00:41:42]:
Are I can rattle them off.
Suz Chadwick [00:41:44]:
You want to rattle them off? I'm like, where's my book?
Dr Marion Piper [00:41:47]:
So there are four basic needs and there's two spiritual needs. So we've got certainty, which often manifests as routine, sameness desiring control over your environment, over what happens. Then you've got uncertainty, which is variety, change, adventure. Then we've got significance, which is our desire to feel unique, special and different and valued by other people. Then we've got love and connection, which is relationships, it's being part of community, it's feeling that sense of belonging. And then the two spiritual needs are growth and contribution. And growth is basically they define it as like continuous self improvement. And then contribution is giving back from a place of not expecting anything in return.
Suz Chadwick [00:42:39]:
Yeah, I love that. Thanks for that, Marion.
Dr Marion Piper [00:42:41]:
I'm like, I know them, but I'm.
Suz Chadwick [00:42:43]:
Like going to get it wrong. But yeah, it was really interesting to go through that as well, because what I found was that when I got there, I'm normally a pretty chilled person, but when I got there, I was quite stressed, and I couldn't figure out why. I was just like, what is wrong with me? I was like, what about my bag? And what about this? And do I have enough food? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I really caught myself in, what the hell is going on, Suze? Like, this is so bizarre. And then when we went through the six human needs, one of them being certainty, that you know exactly what's going to happen, you're used to what's happening around you, that you've got that stability, you've got the control, et cetera. And this was, like, all new for me. And I almost felt like the last few years, so much has been uncertain in the world that I have really anchored in to certainty within my life. And one of the negatives about that is that there's boredom and there's inability to kind of be spontaneous.
Suz Chadwick [00:43:57]:
And when you're in situations that you're not used to, it can be a bit unnerving, which is exactly what happened. But it was so interesting to almost watch myself from the outside being like, what is happening here right now? So that kind of shook me up, which was great. We wanted the jolt, and we got the jolt from that. But what did you discover about yourself when we worked through those human needs?
Dr Marion Piper [00:44:25]:
Yeah, well, for context, everyone and this will make you laugh, just to give you a really a good example of the difference in needs, because right. Tony also says that we all have the same six needs, but we value them differently, and they're in a different priority order. So to give you an example of that, I roll in to meet Suze at the airport at Sydney Airport on an overnight flight from Know. I was just I'll just show up. It'll fine. You know, I've just spent two weeks, like, traveling around Bali, going to new places, going on an adventure. We roll into the stadium, and Suze is like, I've got snacks. I've got bananas, I've got like, where do we go? Where's the bag line? And I'm like it's fine.
Dr Marion Piper [00:45:12]:
Let's just follow the crowd. So this should show you a really concrete example of the differences in our needs. Neither of us are right. Neither of us are wrong. We just value different things. Obviously, I already knew this. And this is the thing, once you've got the language to talk about it, you know exactly what your needs really, it's real damn obvious what your needs are. And so my top one was uncertainty, whereas SUS's is certainty.
Dr Marion Piper [00:45:41]:
And then I think we both had significance as our second need, which know, the way that manifests for me is I the rules don't apply to me. I live a different life. I'm a creative human. I'm unique. And special because I make art and I write and so that's a really high need for me and it's not necessarily a bad thing. However, if I look at the downsides to having both of those needs as my top two, what the uncertainty does is because I'm always chasing the change and the variety, it can be really hard for me to stick to a routine. It's hard for me to stay in one place. And so as someone who is slightly less predictable it can be really difficult for the people in my life to know when I'm going to be around, if they can rely on me, if I'm even going to be here.
Dr Marion Piper [00:46:35]:
So that's one of the downsides to the uncertainty. And then with the significance it can often block you from developing love and connection and getting those deeper bonds and those more special experiences and it can also block you from doing things like contributing or creating community. Because if you're always trying to be the one who feels significant chances are you're not really paying attention enough attention to the people around you. And one of the other things that I love that Tony said was people want and crave love but they settle for connection. And that was something that I kind of realized I was, wow, like I have a lot of connections. I have a lot of connections but I'm missing the depth and the intimacy of real deeper love. And it's not that it's not available to me or that I don't deserve it. It's just I haven't cultivated it because I didn't realize that what I've been settling for is just connection.
Suz Chadwick [00:47:44]:
And he was saying that obviously within the world of social media we mistake connection for love. And so you might have 1000 followers or you might have lots of people in your network or you might have lots of people that you're chatting to on the regular, yet it's not actually fulfilling you because there's not that connection and love in that way.
Dr Marion Piper [00:48:10]:
Yeah, exactly. It was really interesting to sort of sit in that space and then from that point on we just kept pointing out to each other when those needs became really visible, which made me laugh. I'll just be my one of my favorite moments was when on the first day we had these salads from the cafe and on the second morning we're on our way to the venue and Susan's like I'm so we're where are we going to sit? Let's try the other side and I'm going to get one of those salads again. And I just turned to Susan, I'm like, but what if they don't have the salad suze? And just the look on your face was just absolute outrage and devastation. As like as if they wouldn't have it because they had it yesterday. It was brilliant.
Suz Chadwick [00:49:02]:
And can I tell you, they didn't have the same which I was very upset about so mine like you said, certainty and significance were two that I have been living in as well. One of the things that we did was looking at what do we want them to be? So if that's where we've been for the past couple of years, where do we want to be? So my shift and change that I really want to cultivate is variety. So whilst you can have certainty financially, you can have certainty where you live. You can have certainty in some of the core things that are important to you. The question is, for me now, how am I really shaking up the rest of it? So if certainty has been 70% or 60% of life in the last few years because of everything that's been happening, how do I move that to maybe 40% certainty and 60% variety? Because the things that really I love and thrive on in life is travel and spontaneity and fun and connection with friends and play. Those are things that have always been really important to me. So that's definitely something now where I'm like, okay, how do we do more of that? And it's in the little things. It's like, on Sunday, I was just like, Right, we're all going.
Suz Chadwick [00:50:25]:
We're going out for lunch. We're going down the beach. We're going to go, let's go get ice cream. And the kids were like, oh, I don't want to do that. Why? Because, well, that's not what we normally do. And I'm like, let's shake it up. Let's go. And then they were all like, oh, my God, so great.
Suz Chadwick [00:50:41]:
And I just think sometimes we've kind of got to be that jolt for them as well. And then I really wanted to move from significance to I kind of like growth and contribution. So I feel like growth is something that even going to this event was something that we both invest in, but it was really like, what contribution do I want to be making? And for me, something that came up is, I would really love to be working with younger people as well from maybe a charity perspective, a mentoring perspective, a contribution perspective, where helping them to think in a different way, obviously, because I've got kids of that age, and I'm just like, how amazing would that be? Because we saw the youth leadership, which is basically something that Tony Robbins does, and there were kids that were sort of 14 to 18 or something like that, and I just thought, wow, I think I would really enjoy that. So now really thinking about, how can I make more of a contribution? So what were the things that you decided you wanted to shift towards?
Dr Marion Piper [00:51:46]:
Yeah, and also, too, before I say those our needs, it also doesn't have to be to fulfill those needs. It also doesn't have to be a grand goal or a grand ambition. It can just be thinking about in your everyday life. How can you if growth and contribution are your two primary needs now, how can you get those from everything that you do, a little bit of it from everything that you do, but also have the big goals, do all that stuff, but it's more of like just a slight mindset shift around thinking about what you need. So for me, I love the uncertainty. It's something that I think as a creative person we definitely need because we need to feel really comfortable sitting in the uncertainty of not knowing where the process is going so similar to you with certainty. It's like I still know I need a fairly decent chunk of that in my life, especially as a business owner too. We have to be able to befriend uncertainty because if you don't, you're going to find out.
Dr Marion Piper [00:52:54]:
You're going to get a rude shock because stuff can just change at the drop of a hat. But what I thought was like, okay, for uncertainty and significance, what could I translate that to? So for me, I mapped growth to uncertainty and contribution to significance and just to kind of rewire my brain a little bit and sort of say, well, actually the process of growth, I don't know where that's going. And what that's about is it's about continuous, constant improvement and expansion and evolution. Whereas uncertainty is like chop and change. So I was like, what if I just reframed uncertainty to be more about growth so that I'm not chopping and changing, but there's that beautiful slow inclined build and growth that way, which felt really like it actually feels even just saying that I'm like, oh, it feels nicer.
Suz Chadwick [00:53:53]:
Dr Marion Piper [00:53:54]:
And then contribution if I build, if I give and be part of community thinking more so around, if I'm thinking in my business, it's like, how can I contribute my skills and expertise to other people's communities? So thinking about it not so much as like, I need to build my reputation and I need to build my expert status, but it's like, well, actually what communities need, what I have, who needs to hear the things that I know inside out, back to front, up and down. And that to me felt like, oh, I feel motivated and inspired by that. Whereas if I think about significance and I dip into ego, I go straight into scarcity mode and I'm like, there's not enough opportunities, there's not enough people, there's not enough money, there's not enough time. But if I'm like, well, what can I give? It's like immediate expansion. It's like, oh, I can give to my local barista, I can go to my gym and I can just give my energy there. It's a hairline difference between those things. But you can already feel the shift in my energy when I go from talking about that to talking about this. So that's what I love about the needs and especially the fact that once you know, it's like speaking a different language.
Dr Marion Piper [00:55:14]:
You see it everywhere. You see everybody's needs just popping out the woodwork. Love it.
Suz Chadwick [00:55:21]:
Like whack a mole.
Dr Marion Piper [00:55:23]:
Yeah. But don't hit people.
Suz Chadwick [00:55:25]:
Dr Marion Piper [00:55:27]:
Please don't hit people.
Suz Chadwick [00:55:29]:
But I love that. I love that where it's like when we're in ego, there's scarcity, and when we're in growth and opportunity, there's like, expansion and contribution, which I love. That's so good. Yeah. Amazing. So we went through a lot of exercises and framework. What would you say were the top five things that you're committing to and adopting now?
Dr Marion Piper [00:55:52]:
Oh, love this. Because massive action you. So the first one is around energy. So energy. Oh, man. Huge game changing. And I've been on such a health journey myself this year. I've lost like twelve kilos.
Dr Marion Piper [00:56:09]:
I'm crushing it at the gym. I have so much more. This is like, literally the healthiest I've ever been in my entire life. And so for me, it's like, okay, this event, Tony, just reconfirmed the path that I'm on. And so it's like, I actually just need to keep going. There's nothing I really need to change dramatically, but it's more understanding that cultivating the energy daily is now the that's speaking of standards, that's the standard is like, energy comes first. The second thing that I want to commit to is meaning and emotions, which for all my creative, artistic friends out there, these are things that we deal in day in, day out. But I think it's about understanding what they are and how to process them in an even greater way than before.
Dr Marion Piper [00:56:57]:
So not pushing things down, like experiencing things, but then also recognizing them for what they are, which is energy. Emotions are energy in motion so that we can use them as fuel for your goals, particularly if we start to lean more into curiosity and determination. Because there's no problem you can't solve if you're curious and determined, because you're just going to keep going. You're just going to keep going. So leaning into I just want to.
Suz Chadwick [00:57:23]:
Go back on that, though. Energy is emotions in emotion.
Dr Marion Piper [00:57:29]:
Yeah. Emotions are energy in motion.
Suz Chadwick [00:57:32]:
Emotions are energy in motion.
Dr Marion Piper [00:57:34]:
Suz Chadwick [00:57:34]:
Yeah. Which I loved when he said that. I feel like sometimes you kind of got to say it to yourself again. But I love that emotions are energy in motion. And I think that just going back to what you said about the first thing, which is energy. The whole make your move for me right now is like a daily call to arms to really embody the energy and the person that I want to be and being really conscious of that. Listening to the music to hype me up, putting myself in a good mood when things have been really challenging, instead of staying in that negative feeling, I'm really trying to pull myself out of it. Smile more, listen to the music.
Suz Chadwick [00:58:16]:
And one of the things that really just hit massively for me is that you can't be mad or sad when you're in gratitude.
Dr Marion Piper [00:58:24]:
Suz Chadwick [00:58:25]:
And I think that that's been something. One of the most powerful things that happened when we were away was really like closing your eyes and embodying and really thinking about moments in your life that you have been truly grateful for. And I cried when we did this because it was so incredible. And I just don't think that when we talk about gratitude journals or writing things down that we're grateful for. I think that there's the acknowledgment of what we're grateful for. And then I think that there's the true embodiment and feeling of being grateful. And so when I have been challenged in the last week or two where I felt angry or I felt sad, I just have really tapped into that moment of gratitude. And really the other thing that I did is I actually sat and the things that I was grateful for when we did that exercise obviously come to mind first.
Suz Chadwick [00:59:30]:
But I sat down when we got back and I wrote down more of the things that I'm grateful for, where there were moments where I can feel it. There were moments where I remember it so vividly and the feeling that I felt in that moment as well. And I've just tried to build on those too. So these are the things I'm grateful for. But here are like ten more things that maybe I didn't think about in the moment where I'm just like, remember that time. Do you remember that moment? And I've just been really trying to stack my gratitude because I'm just like, you can't be sad or mad when you're in gratitude and how can I access that and tap into that more?
Dr Marion Piper [01:00:18]:
Yeah, and this kind of builds on this idea of like if we constantly seeking external stimulus, external approval, opportunity, we're going to be waiting a really long time and we have the greatest resource to power us, which is our lived experience. You have all of the memories, but the problem is that we just don't make the time to remember them and to feel them. Like you say, it's not just the tokenistic writing it down, writing five things down in my gratitude journal, but it's like sitting there for a couple of minutes and actually feeling what it felt like in that moment when that thing happened. And then the Jedi move that I'm going to suggest, if people are willing to try it, is to think about the shit that happened, the terrible things that happened, and what you're grateful in those because you can pull gratitude out of anything. Because chances are that terrible thing happened and it bumped you onto a path that maybe you met your soulmate or you got your dream job or you gained a greater appreciation for life. So that's also what a lot of the post traumatic growth literature talks about. It's not just about gratitude, but it's also about appreciation. So it's looking, actively looking for the good.
Dr Marion Piper [01:01:38]:
And that's what that exercise taught us to do. When everyone else is looking for the negative, you look for the positive. And, like, you've already won. So good.
Suz Chadwick [01:01:48]:
Yeah, 100%. And I think just being in that moment, hand on heart, closing your eyes, taking yourself back to either the good or the bad or whatever it is you want to tap into and spending time feeling it. And I think that one of the other things I took away is that we're in such a rush with life, and life is so busy and everything's happening. And I think that just stopping sometimes and actually being in the moment, acknowledging the moment, feeling the moment, and being like, I'm giving myself permission to be here and feel this and acknowledge it, I think is also something that we don't take time to do. And that's why gratitude sometimes passes us by. So that's definitely something that I'm trying to be a lot more aware of. Like, when I'm in a moment of gratitude, how do I stop and really feel it and bank it?
Dr Marion Piper [01:02:55]:
Suz Chadwick [01:02:56]:
Instead of it's just like, oh, that was good, that was good. I had a fun day. Whatever. What about really banking that as a gratitude? Like, putting it in the slot of, I can go back and access that at another time in life.
Dr Marion Piper [01:03:11]:
And also, there were so many moments where both you and I, we just stopped and we looked at each other and we were just like, I'm so glad you're here. That is a moment of gratitude. I think people feel like they can't express those things in the moment when they're happening, but there's something really magical. I think it draws down more meaning, it draws down more emotion when you take a second to just stop and acknowledge what's going on and just like, hey, oh my God, this is amazing. So often we don't do that. Like you say, we're just like, we're on from the next thing to the next thing to the next thing. And maybe we reflect a year down the track being like, oh, that was awesome. But learning to catch yourself in the moment and celebrate it, and celebrate it as it's happening, it attaches a far greater emotion to something.
Dr Marion Piper [01:04:03]:
You're more likely to remember it. You're more likely to chase more experiences like it. And it, again, seems so simple. So simple, but you have to do it. This is the thing. We're talking about it right now, but everyone, we did this, and you can too. You don't need to do a fancy course. You don't need to pay a bunch of money.
Dr Marion Piper [01:04:23]:
You can just take a few minutes and tap into all those beautiful memories that you have.
Suz Chadwick [01:04:29]:
Yeah, so good. And your second one was meaning and emotion and really going to that deeper level. I think for me, one of the things around that was the patterns talks about the pattern. So everything that we do and the results that we get are based on our patterns. So I think one of the questions that I was asking was, what are the patterns that I have in my life? What are the things that I do all the time that either serve or don't serve me, and what patterns do I need to change? So one of the things that when we talk about that meaning as well is that I love that he said our beliefs become self fulfilling once again. There's so many quotes out there that I feel like we don't really think about. It's kind of the whole thing of if you think you can, you can, and if you think you can't, you can't. But I think that he just sort of said, there are so many beliefs, or there are so many thoughts that are around us, and most of the thoughts are not ours, but we kind of pick a thought, and then we decide to adopt that thought, and then that thought becomes a belief, and then we live our life by those beliefs.
Suz Chadwick [01:05:42]:
And I think that understanding what we give meaning to, understanding what thoughts that we have and where they may have come from and how ingrained are they in us as far as what we do on a day to day basis? Like, if I have thoughts about money and beliefs about money, what are they? Where did they come from, and how much does that influence what I do on a day to day basis? Relationships, the work I do, how I show up? I think that, once again, giving ourselves the space and the time to understand the patterns and the beliefs that we're in and how they either contribute or detract from the extraordinary life that we want. It's just like a web where it's just like really diving into those things and asking ourselves those questions. I think it's just such an important thing to do.
Dr Marion Piper [01:06:41]:
Yeah. For those playing at home who the word meaning feels and sounds a bit abstract. What's the story you're telling yourself? Meaning is in story, so it's like it's in story and it's in behavior. So what are you doing and what's the story you're telling yourself about what you're doing? Because that's the fast track way to first spot the pattern, because that's like, part of his process, right, is you got to first spot it second, you got to interrupt it. Thus the silly dancing and crazy voices and make you boo.
Suz Chadwick [01:07:10]:
Make your boob.
Dr Marion Piper [01:07:11]:
It's all about just interrupting the pattern. What can you do to interrupt it? And then you got to replace it. And the most beautiful thing is that we get to choose. You get to choose. You get to decide. You get to pick. It whatever you need it to be based on what goal or where you want to go or who you want to become.
Suz Chadwick [01:07:28]:
Yeah, and I think that was a super powerful exercise where we wrote down our top three limiting beliefs, and then there was a whole exercise around it which was really full on that we may not get into now, and then we rewrote what we want those to be. And I think that's the other thing is I've been looking back on those beliefs. In fact, I've been saying them to myself over and over again, the new beliefs that I want to have that will replace the old ones that I feel have been limiting me. And once again, it's an active practice that will shift our behavior and those patterns and what it is that we want to go after. And so I also think that sometimes we do that. It's the whole I'll write down my gratitude. No, don't write it down. Feel it.
Suz Chadwick [01:08:13]:
I want to change my beliefs. Don't just write it down like what you want the belief to be every day. Say that to yourself. Embody it, feel it. What needs to change, what patterns need to be broken, what needs to be rebuilt in order for that belief to be so embedded in us that it now becomes our automatic way of being. But it's something that takes time, but it's got to be on the daily. So that's definitely something that I have been doing, is those three beliefs and just really trying to embed them.
Dr Marion Piper [01:08:49]:
Yeah, I love that. And I've definitely noticed I've noticed the old beliefs whispering every now and then. And so, yes, in a similar way, I hear it, and then I course correct and I go, oh, wait, that's not valid anymore. Here's what we think instead. And I think part of it too. To I was listening to a great episode of the Huberman Lab podcast yesterday and today about goal setting and the neuroscience protocols, about how to achieve your goals in a similar vein. And he talks about focusing on, rather than focusing on the destination and the thing that you want to be or get. Focus on the verbs.
Dr Marion Piper [01:09:29]:
So focus on the verbs that are going to get you there. And so this is kind of the same thing. It's like, rather than focusing on being like, I want to be more loving, it's like, okay, how do you love focus on the verb? I want to be more creative. Okay, well, what are you doing to be more creative and focusing on the doing rather than the noun or the label or the title, which is not going to get you anywhere. It's going to become further and further and further away. But the action that you take is actually the thing that gets you there. It's not the other way around.
Suz Chadwick [01:10:04]:
Dr Marion Piper [01:10:07]:
Suz Chadwick [01:10:07]:
Good. What was the third one that you had?
Dr Marion Piper [01:10:15]:
I hinted at this earlier, but it's really focusing on the who, not the how. So again, if there's something that you want to learn if there's something that you want to do, swapping out the how for who. So it's not just who can help me? I think that's a powerful question to answer yourself, but also who's done it before that I can model. Tony's all about modeling, so it's know if you want to go get somewhere faster, look at rather than reinventing the path or walking a new path, just follow whatever's been done. Then, you know, when you get there, you'll decide on something else. So that one was definitely a big one, a big shift in my head, for sure, especially from a creativity perspective, because it's all about the process, and that's where people get stuck.
Suz Chadwick [01:11:04]:
Yeah. And that was a huge one for me as well. I absolutely loved it. When he wants to learn about fitness and health, he goes to the best person in the business. When he wants to learn about money, he interviewed, I don't know, like, twelve or 20 of the top billionaires in the world, and I thought that was so good. So now I'm just kind of like, okay, if I want to learn that thing, who do I think is the best? Who do I think is somebody that I could really dissect and learn how it is that they do it and focus on that. So instead of scattering myself with, let me watch these ten people that do that, who do I think is the one person, the best person for me to learn from that really resonates to me and then focus on that person and modeling what it is that they're doing so that I can learn it a whole lot faster. Because I think that's the other thing is that with our access to so much information and our access to so many people, I think that one of the biggest procrastination habits is just constantly listening to like, a billion people and then wondering why you're not taking any action.
Suz Chadwick [01:12:12]:
And I think it's having that clarity of, what am I going after? What's the goal that I want to achieve? What's the outcome that I want? And then, who has had that outcome? And then let me model like myself. Let me model what it is that they're doing. So that was yeah, I had a big when you sent it through, I'm like, yes, I agree. That was a big one.
Dr Marion Piper [01:12:35]:
So good. Love it, love it.
Suz Chadwick [01:12:36]:
What was your next one?
Dr Marion Piper [01:12:39]:
This was a really tough pill to swallow. As someone who I've done a PhD, I would consider myself very intellectually driven, is that poor execution is better than all the knowledge. And so it was a reminder, and I see it all the time. People just accumulating knowledge and not doing anything with it. But you've got to execute like, execution is what's going to get you to where you want to go. And so the other thing that I like that was attached to this that Tony said was that complexity is the enemy of execution. You got to make things really super simple and then probably even simpler than that. So it was a good reminder that actually, you know what, I've probably got all the knowledge that I need, but probably what I'm lacking is Massive Action.
Suz Chadwick [01:13:33]:
I think that there's so many people that would be exactly so it's like we were just saying, you've just got so many people that you can constantly be learning from. You could be taking a million courses and you could be listening to all the podcasts and you could be watching all the YouTube videos, but it's such a safe place to risk. Keep just I'm not quite there yet. I'm going to keep learning. And yes, Massive action. I think I've always been a pretty big action taker, but I also think over the last couple of years, I think that complacency, which I shared with you before, has definitely settled in a little bit, where it's like, oh, I've kind of learned as much as I can, and I'm executing kind of but not massive action. Not massive massive action. And I think that's where the difference is, is that you could be doing things, but just doing things is not enough.
Dr Marion Piper [01:14:30]:
Not anymore. As yeah, Tony had this whole rant know, you'd expect that if you're doing an excellent job, you're going to get excellent results, but it's so competitive out there that excellent results only get you.
Suz Chadwick [01:14:43]:
Good results, and being good gets you poor results. Being excellent gets you good results, and being outstanding then gets you excellent results. Even then, it's like Massive Action showing up, like knowing what you're going after. Yeah, it was, like, sad to hear that, but also very true.
Dr Marion Piper [01:15:07]:
You know, what I described that moment as is very sobering. It was like, oh, okay, the rose pincer glasses came off at that point, and I was like, Shit, we got some work to do.
Suz Chadwick [01:15:21]:
Yeah, I feel like that definitely hit me as well, as far as, like, good is the enemy of great, which is something that I was listening to somebody else talk about. And I felt like that was the reinforcement of it, is that you can show up and you can be good, but it's actually not good enough. Not today, not in the business world, not, I guess, in a lot of things. It's like, if you want to have amazing, outstanding, incredible, off the scale results, who do you think you need to be? What do you think you need to do in order to get that? And I think that sometimes we expect greatness, we expect exceptional results, yet we're operating at fair to good. Yeah.
Dr Marion Piper [01:16:07]:
And that's why I said, let's get weird about it, get unhinged, become obsessed. You see people there's so many musicians and artists that, you know, share as examples. But do you think Frida Carlo or I don't know, Picasso were just like meh. No, they were weird about it. They were so weird, and they were so dedicated that you almost can't help but get the results like that if you're that committed. Because they decided that there's no other life for me other than this. I must paint well in frida Carlo. Case in point, she was bedbound from a crazy debilitating injury.
Dr Marion Piper [01:16:53]:
So it was either lie there and do nothing or create and give yourself something to focus on. So, yeah, I was like, I would love for this. And this is what I've been thinking about. It's like, how can I become more extreme, more unhinged, more vocal, more me in the next year and just get super freaking weird about it to the point where people just don't even know look at me. They're just like, I just don't even know what to talk to you about.
Suz Chadwick [01:17:24]:
Yeah. Be polarizing. Yeah, I love it. So good. All right, we've got one more that we're going to talk about. What was your fifth one?
Dr Marion Piper [01:17:34]:
Is this one? Change your approach. So, again, it's like, if you don't get what you want, don't give up. Just try a different angle and then just keep going. And the other thing, too, that I know I've been guilty of is like, if something doesn't work out, my kind of default mode is to question myself. It's to doubt myself. It's like, oh, maybe I didn't put in enough work, or maybe I don't have the skills, or maybe I don't have the XYZ blah, blah, blah forever. But what if this is just an experiment? What if instead of doubting myself, I just question the approach and go, oh, actually, maybe this person, maybe an email wasn't the best way to reach this person. Maybe the best way to reach this person is seeing if I'm connected to them in a different way.
Dr Marion Piper [01:18:23]:
Or maybe this project didn't work for this client, not because I'm bad at my job or they're bad at what they do, but maybe it was the way the project was designed. So there's an element, I think, of self reflection in here that I bang on and about journaling for and people are. So I'm struggling to understand how self reflection is the thing that people are afraid of. But having now gone through all of this process and understanding the human needs, I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, it is kind of scary to sit in that space, sit in that really vulnerable space and look at yourself. It's one of the hardest things to do, but it's the one that offers yields the biggest and greatest results. So, yeah, I think moving forward, it's like, I'm going to try things and then I'm going to document it and I'm going to think about it. And then I'm like, if it worked great, how could I do it better next time? Or if it didn't work and get creative, what other ways could I do this or approach this?
Suz Chadwick [01:19:23]:
Yeah, 100%. And I felt like that was one of the big things as well. There is no end game. As in there is no, like, I've done it all. I've tried it all. I always say, I always reference that Lisa Messenger got 88 no's before she got a yes. And I think that it's kind of getting I feel like this is the theme, getting weird about it, like becoming excessive about it, like working it out. You've got to decide, once again, there's so much here that connects.
Suz Chadwick [01:19:53]:
You have to decide what you're willing to do to be outstanding and what you're willing to do to constantly change your approach so that you figure it out. Like, if you want to be the best, if you want to be great. Because remember, good is like, average these days. If you want to be great, if you want to be exceptional, then what are you willing to do and how many no's are you willing to get? And the answer should be as many as it takes to actually get the outcome that you want, which you have certainty and clarity on. I think one of the biggest things that I took away as well is certainty when we come from a place of certainty. So, once again, going back to speaking as my example when I'm about to get on that stage, can I tell you I have 100% certainty that this is going to be incredible, that I am going to impact and create the energy and the space that I want. Like when I am revving myself up, when I am getting into a beautiful state, which I love, the beautiful state, then you come from a place of certainty. And I think it's only when we decide that we will do what it takes that we come from a place of certainty that we will have as many no's as required to get the outcome.
Suz Chadwick [01:21:04]:
I think that the way in which we operate becomes outstanding.
Dr Marion Piper [01:21:10]:
Sing it. Make you move. Yes. And two things that follow up with that. You get the life you focus on, and then you also get the life that you're willing to tolerate.
Suz Chadwick [01:21:23]:
Dr Marion Piper [01:21:24]:
You get what you tolerate. And it's true. And that goes right back to that standards conversation. Think about somebody who is exceptional, someone who is outstanding. What kind of standards would they have and how are they different to yours? And honestly, thinking about that and the verbs, what are they doing that I'm not doing? It's a whole other game that you start playing because then it's not about what am I not doing? Or where am I falling short? It's about what can I do? What am I willing to do? Which is huge. That to me feels so much more empowering than just like, I'm not where I want to be. And oh, well, everyone around me seems happy with what they're doing. So I don't want to make a fast.
Dr Marion Piper [01:22:04]:
I don't want to take up space. I don't want to be that person. No, screw that. We're way past that now. We're getting weird. Things are about to get kooky. Yeah.
Suz Chadwick [01:22:16]:
And I think you've got to be honest with yourself. When you're like, I want all these big things, you've really got to stop and say, am I showing up and being the person who is relentless in getting the things that I want?
Dr Marion Piper [01:22:31]:
Yes. Radical honesty. Radical honesty.
Suz Chadwick [01:22:35]:
Dr Marion Piper [01:22:38]:
So many things. So many things.
Suz Chadwick [01:22:41]:
I mean, we could talk about it all day. We've scratched the surface of what we went through, but I feel like those were some of the bigger things, even though there was so much more. But I think now it's really about embedding everything that we've learned. I think that we will continue to have conversations on this and I think that really thinking about the people around us and the standards that we want and also how are we being those leaders? We kind of started with that message from you, is that we are all leaders. What kind of leader do you want to be a leader for yourself? I think sometimes people are like, I don't want to be like a leader. For a lot of people, it's like, how are you a leader for yourself? How are you a leader for your community in your business? Because I know that people that listen to this, they're in business. And so really thinking about what am I willing to do to be outstanding?
Dr Marion Piper [01:23:41]:
Yeah. And what standards am I now going to set that are going to raise everyone up around me? I don't want to be a follower anymore. I don't just want to cruise it's like, what can I do that is really going to make a difference for me and then for other people? But me first. We have to go first. That's what it means to be a leader. I'm just doing a dance here for.
Suz Chadwick [01:24:08]:
Those who are just listening to the so, so good. We're going to leave it there. But Marion, I am so grateful for you and I'm so grateful that I had this experience with you. And I'm grateful that you and I can have these deep conversations and push each other and challenge each other in such an incredible way. And I can't wait for more experiences like this with you in the future because there are going to be some and they're going to be epic. Can I just tell you?
Dr Marion Piper [01:24:38]:
Oh, my gosh, they're going to be so they will literally be I like right back to you. Sue is so grateful that you extended the offer and sort of gave me that nudge. And also for everyone listening, if you don't have people in your life that do that yet, they're out there and they're looking for you. So just keep your eyes open. Be the one. Be that person to go first and to extend the olive leaf or ask to go on that coffee or set up like a little zoom chat. You just never know. You never know where this stuff is.
Suz Chadwick [01:25:17]:
Going to go and put yourself in circles and in spaces with people who think and are the way that you want to be as well.
Dr Marion Piper [01:25:28]:
Suz Chadwick [01:25:29]:
Doesn't have to be in a room with 9000, but it's a good start.
Dr Marion Piper [01:25:32]:
Yeah, one way to fast track it, that's for sure.
Suz Chadwick [01:25:37]:
So good. Amazing. Marion, thank you so much. This has been like such a great episode. You can watch the video on the show notes page as well, which you can't wait to share, but have an incredible rest of your day.
Dr Marion Piper [01:25:50]:
Oh my gosh. You too. Woo. Make your move.
Suz Chadwick [01:25:52]:
I hope that you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did. I know I'll be listening to it again. There were so many takeaways from the event. I love the workbook that we've got. I've been going through it again and again and I just want you to know that you can choose to have an extraordinary life. You can choose to show up the way that you want to. You can change your state, change your emotions and really live in a place of gratitude so that you can have more joy. That is one of the biggest things that I have really taken away from me with me from that event.
Suz Chadwick [01:26:29]:
So have an amazing rest of your day and I'll see you on the next episode.
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