This week on the podcast I'm answering a question I get all the time – “Suz, how can I learn to trust myself more?”
So today I'm sharing 5 things that you can work through to start to trust yourself more!
To get more support in your business and to build a powerful mindset, Brand Builders Academy is a great place to start!
Suzanne Chadwick 00:00
Hey, hey, welcome back to the podcast. It's amazing to have you here. I had a little break last week. I think it's been a long time since I took a break from the podcast. But that's what was needed. So that's what I did. And I sat down, and I wrote like 10-15 new podcast episodes that I'm going to be sharing with you. So I was happy for the break, and also happy for the inspiration. And I think sometimes we need to have a break in order for inspiration to come as well. So I'm excited to be back this week. I also have to tell you, I took a couple of days out this week. For myself, where I wasn't working in my business, I have hired a health coach, because I really wanted to achieve some goals. And it wasn't working me just doing it on my own, which is why coaches are so great. And so I've hired somebody to help me on that journey. And I took two days out of my business to do it. And I think that that is the theme at the moment. For me, I am just like, we are multi dimensional people. We have got families and sometimes kids and we've got our business. And we've got our personal life, our health, our marriages, our relationships, there are so many dimensions. And I know that obviously we talk a lot about mindset and business and branding and marketing here on the podcast, which I will continue to do. But I also really want you to start to think about what is it that you need more of in your life, that can really help you in your business as well. And it's not doing it in your life so that it helps you in your business. But I just think that when we are happy in other areas of our life, when we are healthy, when we are focused, when we have the opportunity to enjoy and have success in other parts of our life, then it really does contribute to the success and joy and happiness and ease in our businesses as well. So I just know that my health journey that I'm on is going to not only have an incredible effect on me personally, and on my relationships and on my family, but it's also going to have a great impact on my business too. Because we are whole humans.
Suzanne Chadwick 02:58
So I just wanted to share that with you and just say look after yourself. Yeah, look after yourself in all aspects of your life, not just your business. But I am here to talk all things business as well. So this week, what I wanted to talk about because I have had this conversation with a lot of clients is trusting yourself. How do I learn to trust myself Suz? How do I know that the decision that I'm making is the right decision? Yeah. And so I have outlined five things that I think can really help you if this is something that you want to get better at. And I think that as business owners, this is actually a really critical element for us is to learn to trust ourselves to know that we can rely on ourselves to make great decisions. And also when we don't make great decisions, that's okay to it doesn't matter. It's not the end of the world, we can always shift and change. And so those are some things that I wanted to talk to you today about. So the first thing that I think is worth looking at and shifting, when it comes to learning to trust ourselves is that so often, we go to the things that didn't go well. So for example, let's say I want to make a decision, I've got to make a big decision about something. And then the first thing I go to is things that went wrong things that fail things that didn't go the way that I thought that they were going to go and we focus in on the negative. Yeah, I feel like we do this with a lot of different things in our business, is that whenever we want to do something, when it comes to confidence and courage and are stepping up and doing something, we go to the things that didn't work in the past, and that's our point of reference. And it might just be like one out of 10 times that something didn't go well yet. We focus on that one thing. That's the thing we always go back to remember the time that I didn't do that. We'll remember the time I failed at that. And so really starting to consciously, and I feel like everything that we do should be conscious. But consciously looking at when I'm ready to make a decision, what are all the times that I made a great decision? What were all the times that I had success? What were all the times that were a triumph and amazing? And how am I reinforcing to myself, that I have the capability to be able to do this, even though I may not have done it before. I have made great decisions in other areas of my life and business. And so I know that I'm also capable of making great decisions here now. And so depending on what the decision is, it's also taking a look at your process for making the decision. Yes, really thinking about, if I don't know something, how can I find it out? If I need to understand something better, maybe there's somebody I can ask, I'm not asking for them to make the decision. For me, this is part of my exploring and my research, and me understanding what I need to know in order to make a great decision. So I'll give you a really quick example is that right now, within Brand Builders Academy, we're in systems week, where we take a look at the systems in your business, brand, experience automations, how you take money in all the rest of it. And so one of the things that I say to my clients is, decide on what it is that you need. So understand what what you need in your business, then you can ask the question, this is what I need in my business. Does anybody have any recommendations, and then have a discussion about what systems might work well for you pick two, maximum three, go and take a look and understand what they do see whether they fit in with your budget and what you want right now. But also know that things will change. So it's fine to make a decision now based on where you are, I always talk about fit for purpose. So what is the decision that you need to make now that is fit for purpose, with the information that you have available to you. And then take a look at what you need to do to make that decision. Yeah, and give yourself a timeframe on it as well, because we take as long as the time that we give ourselves to do things. But the more that you can really think about all the positive things that you've done in the past. And then also acknowledge and understand the process that you've gone through to make the decision means that you'll feel really confident in how you're making that decision.
Suzanne Chadwick 07:52
So when you are looking to trust yourself more, focus on the positives, focus on what you know, focus on the great things you've done in the past, focus on the fact that you can make great decisions moving forward and having that belief in yourself. Yes, this is the thought work, the belief work that we've talked about before on the podcast, what do you need to believe right now, that can help you to trust yourself more. So the belief is I make great decisions. And if I don't know the decision I need to make now I'm going to go and find out. I'm not going to ask people for them to make the decision for me. But I'm going to go find out the information that I need. So that I know I can make a great decision based on the process that I'm creating here to make this decision. The second thing that I think people who don't have a lot of faith and trust in themselves do is they poll everybody. So this isn't looking for research. This is saying what should my pricing be? What do you think I should do? What's your opinion about what's happening? Yeah, yeah. And so whilst you can have people that you rely on people that so a coach is a great person to go to a trusted person that understands what it is that you're asking for? Yeah, and get them to support you in making the decision. You don't want to be polling people. And pricing is like the absolute. The one that I see all the time. Yeah. So really think about whose opinion matters, but also who understands what it is I'm trying to do. So me asking my husband, which system he thinks I should buy when he has no idea what the day to day operations of my business are, how I would use the system, what my budget is for the system. His opinion is not going to be helpful and it goes for when you ask people for about pricing and other things. It's like what should the price of my service be? Well, their money beliefs could come into lowball and you on the price that you should be charging. Also, they have no idea what it is that you're offering, what your clients desires and transformation is that they get from it, and also what they would pay for it. So if they wouldn't be willing to pay to solve that problem, then what they think you should charge is going to be totally like, not on point with what you should be charging because you understand what you're actually offering. So you have to trust yourself based on what you understand about the market. What you know, you want to offer, what you've outlined in your business strategy of what revenue you need to generate in your business, then you make an informed decision about what your price needs to be. And I also think there's an energetic element to it as well, where you have to, obviously feel into which is our third point, trusting your intuition, and believing that you will know the right decision to make at the time. So when you have all these different elements that you're bringing into the mix? What is your gut telling you? Like? Is this does this feel right? Is it commercial? is the first thing if we're talking about pricing, but with any decision that you're making, as well really think about? How does this feel to me like, Does this feel good? Do I feel excited about this? Do I feel sick about it? Like how is it that you're feeling and really trusting your gut as well. And I think the more that you can trust your intuition, as well as bring in other elements that help you to make that decision, then the stronger your intuition becomes, as well, because it's like a muscle, the more you use it, the more you'll be able to use it in the future, the stronger it will become. So really think about how you're making that decision. And whether you're actually giving yourself the space and the time to listen to yourself. Like really ask yourself, what do I want? Like, how does this feel to me?
Suzanne Chadwick 12:17
Do I feel like this is the right direction for me. And I think that when we ask ourselves those questions as well, how brain will work on its own, our subconscious will work on its own. And it will start to distil the information that you've got, start to really listen into your intuition and your internal feelings and thoughts. And it will help you to make those decisions for yourself. So think about the times in the past, where maybe you had a gut feeling, and maybe you listen to it. And you're like that was a great decision. And once again, use that as the reinforcement, that you make great decisions that you have a strong intuition, you know which way you should go, and that you are going to be able to make the decision from this point on. The next thing is about breaking through cycles. And understanding that there's no wrong decision. So we're all learning. Yeah, each of us has a totally different business. Each of us does things in a different way. And so just knowing that you could make a decision now, and you might change your mind down the track, you can evolve, you can change, this is not set in stone, this decision that you're making is not set in stone. And so also just being okay with learning as you go making decisions. And I think that the more small decisions that you can make, where you're building that confidence, making great decisions in your business, testing and seeing what works and what doesn't. Yes, so assessing what needs to happen, deciding on an outcome, implementing it, and then assessing again, which is the breakthrough cycle, then you can start to do it more often. But just know that okay, well, I made that decision doesn't seem to be working for me not a problem, let's change it and shift it. And so even that agility of being able to change and shift and work through the things that you need to work through in order to go in a different direction. It's not about making what you did wrong. You just learned something new along the way. And so reframing and in your own mind that there is no failure, there actually are no wrong decisions. You made a decision at the time and then down the track, you changed your mind or you stressed and decided actually there's a better option. So don't ever discount your learnings from making decisions as well. And I think so often we make what we do wrong, we make it like, it wasn't good, it was wrong, it didn't have the outcome I wanted. And so we really harp on that, and we focus on the negatives. And so really starting to take a look at that's just a learning that was just an evolution, that was just the way that I did it at the time. And now we're here in this other other place. And it's totally fine for me to have that flow of decision making in my business. So I really want you to think about when you think about how you make decisions and the decisions you've made, what's the first thing that pops into your head? Is it positive? Or is it negative? Yeah. And also, when it comes to the decisions that you've made that are wrong or right, there is no wrong, obviously. But what are the people around you? What are the things they're saying to you, making sure you don't have people around you that are criticising decisions that you've made, that are not supporting you to be in that Learning Mode is really important, too. So make sure that the people around you never make you to be wrong. They support you in the evolution of the process that you're in, on the journey that you're in.
Suzanne Chadwick 16:24
And so the people around, you will make a big impact, and will have a big impact on how you feel about your ability to trust yourself. So if you've got people around you who reinforce the fact that you shouldn't trust yourself, that you should be asking their opinion that you should be relying on others, that you should be doing something different, then that's just going to continue to flex, you know, fuel the flames of you thinking I can't do this on my own, or I don't make great decisions. Whereas if you've got people around you saying, Great decision, good work, if you change your mind, it's all good. This is just you know, we're learning, we're in experiment mode. Let's try something different. Let's have fun with this. Let's see what else could work. If you've got people around you like that, then the pressure you put on yourself to make certain decisions will be totally different. And so we think that your external voices, I think it's important for you to assess those as well and reflect on those and say, whether you think they're positive or the negative? Do the people around me reinforce my ability to make great decisions? What's your answer to that? I think that the people around me definitely facilitate me making great decisions. They reinforce when I've made a great decision. And they allow me the space to evolve and shift when I want to change things. So that's what you want to be looking for. And the fifth one is really just self compassion. Yeah, is that if you feel like you can't make great decisions right now, or you don't trust yourself, I just really want you to look into that and ask yourself, why? Why don't you feel like you can just make a decision on your own? Why don't you feel like it's fine to be in an experiment mode, and then evolve from where you are? And really digging into those thoughts and those beliefs that you have right now that might be underlying that you may not even realise are there. It's really worthwhile digging into that and spending the time to take a look at it. Am I being compassionate with myself? Am I being my biggest cheerleader? Am I being somebody who goes, you know, something, let's try something different. Let's evolve from where we were, it doesn't matter if I made that decision. And then I changed it. That's all good, because I was in a certain place at that time. And I know that I can make great decisions. And I know that I can learn as I go. And I know that I can be creative and come up with new ways of doing things. And so I'm totally going to trust myself. And I'm going to support myself. And I'm going to have positive thoughts and I'm going to have positive, you know, like with self talk as well. So really think about am I being compassionate to myself, supporting myself, allowing myself to be in a mode of experimentation, evolution, creativity, and the ability to just change as I need to.
Suzanne Chadwick 19:49
So if you have struggled to trust yourself, then those are five things that I think are practical that you can really look at, around your mindset around in a circle around the things that you've done, around how you treat yourself, how you think about decision making, and trusting yourself as well. So the first one is to focus on the positives or the amazing things that you've done. The second one is to not pull people because they don't understand your vision. They don't understand what you're trying to do and what it is that you want in this moment, what is fit for purpose for you. The third one is trusting your intuition. It's just like a muscle, how can I really be still, and listen to what I think I need right in this moment? How can you have those breakthrough cycles and just know that there is no wrong decision, you're always in an evolution and a shift and a change. You're learning as you go. And so the decisions that you make are right for right now. And then you might make a different decision down the line. And that's all good, too. And number five, was being self compassionate. And really just being your own supporter, loving yourself in the moment, really recognising all of the great things that you do, and reinforcing to yourself that you are somebody you can rely on, I can rely on myself, I am somebody who makes great decision who gets the job done, who follows through on the things that I commit to for myself. And if I can't, then what do I need to do? What help can I get? What support can I get from an external perspective, to really help me to achieve the things that I want. And I love that one of my gorgeous new BBA clients, she's never put herself out on socials. And she's got her business for years. But she's never put herself out on socials. And we had a conversation about it. And she went through some of the marketing modules. And just really that belief that you're worthy of putting yourself out there that people want to connect with you that you can trust yourself to make the right decision in your business and build that courage and that confidence to be able to step up. And the more that you can do that, the more you'll learn to trust yourself, I can do this, this is something I can do. I know I can do this. And so I'm going to met now make those decisions to show up more, I'm going to show up more, I'm going to trust myself more, I'm going to allow others to support me to be able to do this more as well. And so I just want you to know that if you want to really trust yourself more think about what you're doing on a regular basis, to build that trust in yourself. Everything needs to be conscious that we do in our business. Consciously looking after ourselves in self care, consciously looking after our mindset, through our thought management and our belief letters, consciously looking at what do I need right now and what's fit for purpose and what might be fit for purpose now might be different and change down the line. And I totally accept that evolution of myself. And really just thinking about what you can do on a practical level, to consistently be the best support for yourself, and know that you've got your own back. If you've got any questions about this, then make sure you DM me on Instagram. I am all for this conversation. We're going to be putting out some of this content on Instagram reels as well. Because I just think it's such an important thing. The more you can learn to trust yourself, the more that you'll do in your business as well without constantly being in a situation of indecision. Have a great week. I'll speak to you soon.