Here's the thing nobody tells you: you're not afraid of rejection. You're afraid of what rejection will mean about you.

And that story you're telling yourself? It's costing you the opportunities you actually want!

This week, I chatted with Brand Designer Liz Mosley on the podcast.

She's a designer who's been in business for over a decade, killing it with her clients, speaking at conferences, growing her personal brand like crazy.

But she wasn't always like this. Three years ago, she thought she'd take a punt and pitch to big personal brand in her space to be on her podcast and rejected!

And that one rejection? It became the voice in her head saying: “Don't bother. You're not big enough.”had told her no. And that one rejection? It became the voice in her head saying: “Don't bother. You're not big enough.”

Sound familiar?

The Story You Tell Yourself Is Lying To You

Let's be real for a second. When someone says no to you – whether it's for a collaboration, a speaking opportunity, a partnership, whatever  – your brain doesn't just file it away as neutral information. No. Your brain goes FULL CATASTROPHE.

They said no because:

• You're not good enough
• You don't have enough followers
• You're not credible yet
• You'll never make it
• They think you're rubbish

But here's what's actually true: rejection is almost never about you. It's about timing. Capacity. Budget. Alignment. Whether their inbox was full that day. Whether they already committed to something else.

It's literally just data.

But we don't treat it that way. We treat it like a referendum on our worth. And then we stop asking for what we want altogether.

Everyone Else Is Asking (That's Why They're Winning)

I want you to notice something with me. Look around your industry. Look at the people who are getting the opportunities you want. The ones with the visibility. The ones who seem to have it all figured out.

Are they sitting around waiting to be discovered?

No.

They're out there asking. They're pitching. They're following up. They're doing it multiple times. And each yes? It leads to another yes. It compounds.

But we're taught something different. We're taught that good work speaks for itself. That if you're talented enough, someone will notice. That you shouldn't have to “sell yourself.”

Bullshit.

The people winning aren't waiting for you to notice them. They're making sure you can't ignore them.

What Happens When You Actually Get Brave

So Liz decided to do something different. She set herself a goal: get 100 rejections in six months.

Not in a mopey, “I'm preparing myself for failure” way. She gamified it. Made herself a sticker chart. Every no = a sticker. Every yes = an actual opportunity. It made the whole thing feel less terrifying and more like… a game.

Here's what happened next: she barely got any rejections because people kept saying yes.

Her dream sponsor said yes (the one she thought was completely out of reach). Conferences started inviting her to speak. Opportunities showed up without her even pitching.

But the real magic? It wasn't the rejections that changed her business. It was the energy shift.

When she stopped being afraid and started asking, she showed up differently. More confident. More visible. More real. And people noticed. They responded to that energy. They wanted to work with her.

The Mindset Shifts That Actually Matter

I'm going to tell you the three things Liz figured out. Because if you get these, everything changes.

First: The story you tell yourself about rejection is usually wrong.

Your brain loves a good catastrophe story. But most of the time, a no just means no right now. It doesn't mean no forever. It doesn't mean you're not good enough. It means one particular person couldn't work with you at this exact moment in time. That's it.

Start catching those spiral thoughts early. Don't let your brain write the narrative.

Second: You have to actually ask for what you want.

This one's going to sting a little because I think a lot of you already know this, and you're not doing it anyway.

Stop waiting. Stop hoping someone notices. Stop thinking your work is going to speak for itself. You have to ask. You have to pitch. You have to make it known what you want.

And yes, it feels uncomfortable. It feels a bit much. It feels like you're being too bold.

Good. That's how you know you're actually asking for something worth having.

Third: No is not permanent.

You know what's petty? Getting rejected once and then deciding you don't want that opportunity anyway. But that's what most of us do. Self-preservation, right?

But some of the biggest wins come from people who pitched three, four, five times before getting a yes. They learned something. They adjusted. They came back.

A no today is just information. It's not a door permanently closed. It might be a door closed for now. But “for now” doesn't last forever.

Stop Waiting For Permission (You've Got Everything You Need)

Here's what I know about you: you're waiting for something.

You're waiting to be big enough. Credible enough. Established enough. Ready enough.

You're waiting for someone to notice you and give you the stamp of approval.

But that's not how it works. The stamp of approval comes from you. It comes from you asking. From you putting yourself out there. From you being willing to hear no and moving on to the next thing anyway.

My mum taught me this when I was a kid: ask for what you want. If someone says no, it's just a word. Move on to the next thing. No doesn't mean no forever. It just means no for now.

That's the whole game.

Ask. If they say no, that's data. Learn from it or move on. If they say yes, that's an opportunity. Take it. Either way, you move.

The Visibility Thing Is Real

There's a ripple effect that happens when you start putting yourself out there more. When you share your story (not just the highlight reel, but the messy bits too). When you ask for what you want instead of hoping someone notices.

You become the person who's real. Who's honest. Who actually shares the journey instead of just the wins.

And people are magnetic to that. They remember you. They refer you. They want to work with you.

Liz's personal brand didn't just grow because she got some yeses. It grew because she started being vocal about the whole thing. She shared her rejection challenge publicly. She was honest about the struggle. And suddenly, she was getting podcast invitations, speaking requests, conference opportunities—all because people connected with her realness.

That's not luck. That's visibility.

So Here's The Real Question

What are you NOT asking for right now because you're afraid of hearing no?

What opportunity are you leaving on the table because you've decided in advance that the answer is going to be no?

What would your business look like if you actually went for the things you wanted instead of waiting for permission?

Because here's the truth: you're the only one holding you back. Not rejection. Not market conditions. Not who you know or don't know.

You.

You're playing too small. You're waiting too long. And you're letting one voice in your head tell you a story that's completely made up.

So stop.

Ask for what you want. Be prepared to hear no. Have a sticker chart moment where you celebrate it anyway. Learn what you can and move to the next thing.

That's how you build something. That's how you become visible. That's how rejection becomes the best thing that ever happened to you—because it's not the rejection that wins. It's the audacity to keep asking.

Go ask for it. Really.

Be sure to connect with Liz

INSTAGRAM  – WEBSITE – PODCAST

 

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