Suzanne Chadwick
Hey lovelies, before we dive in, I just want to let you know that there is a little bit of adult language in this episode. If you have small ears around, you might want to grab your headphones. But otherwise enjoy. Welcome to the brand builders love podcast. I'm your host Suz Chadwick certified business and mindset coach, author and speaker each week we'll be talking about simple but powerful business and mindset strategies that will help you build a lean, clean and profitable business. So you can learn to get out of your own way and pay yourself more forget average, it's time to level up. Hey, beautiful. Welcome back to the potty. I'm excited to share this episode with you. We are dropping this during the festive season break. So as many of you may know, I went and saw Tony Robbins in 2023, I went with a very good friend of mine, Dr. Marian Piper, who I've had on the podcast a couple of times, she is a creative queen and genius. And we had such an incredible time at this event, it was four days in Sydney. And I feel like it was life changing eye opening. Like just shifting, shifting emotion shifting behavior shifting type events. So Marian and I did a debrief on the podcast, it was episode 303. If you've not listened to part one, you don't have to, to listen to this episode. But I would tell you to go and listen to it because it was super juicy. It's long, I'm not gonna lie, it was a long one. And I had so many messages saying you have to do a part two. So. So that's what we're doing today. And I hope that you're gonna enjoy it, Ryan and I could talk the hind legs off a mule. We love to talk about deep, amazing, life changing, thought shifting things. That's kind of our vibe. When we get together. And I love it. I love friends, you can have really amazing deep conversations were so Marian was the perfect person for me to go to Tony Robbins with. And I love that we continue to talk about it continue to inspire each other continue to kind of cheer each other on with the things that we learn as well, which I think is so important. So that's what we're talking about today. Listen, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope that if you are on holidays during the period that this episode is dropping that you have an amazing restful time. That fills up your cup ready for 2024. I am off on holidays at the moment as you're listening to this down the beach, enjoying time with the family, and really feeling into the gratitude that I have for this year. Even though it was a really tough year for me and my clients. I am just grateful. I'm grateful to be here. I'm grateful to be sharing this with you. And I am excited for what 2024 is going to bring for you, my friend. And for me, I believe that there is abundance that is available to us. Now my word for 2024 is around. I'm not sure where I'm landing on this, but it is all around community. How do I show up as the leader to help you to really step into being a bold voice in your industry? How do I bring together a community of like minded, passionate, driven and committed business owners that not only want to see their business thrive, but who want to be part of supporting others to be able to do the same. So we've got some shifts and changes coming in the business in 2024, which I'm excited about it is we are doing everything from a place of building amazing communities that support one another. And yeah, I want you to be part of it. So watch this space. We're going to be sharing some exciting things in the new year. And if you've got any questions, you can obviously ask me at CS Chadwick on Instagram. And apart from that, let's dive into this week's episode. Marianne Piper, Dr. Marian fiber Mazza. Welcome back to the podcast my lovely,

Dr Marion Piper
I feel like I'm a part of the furniture. I like the like the brightly colored orange colored orange chaise lounge by the window.

Suzanne Chadwick
We do like a chaise launch. Yeah.

I'm so happy to have you back. Now this was by popular request by popular demand. After we did our first episode, which I feel was like an hour and a half long or something painful, like we need another episode.

Speaker 1
Yeah, I that and that, honestly, that hour and a half went by in the blink of an eye, I gotta say. And it's so exciting to hear that people want to hear more about it, because like that was for whole massive days. So we can't we couldn't have there's no way we were going to cover it all in just 90 minutes.

Suzanne Chadwick
I know, I know. I feel like you know, something, I'm like you and I should do like a live event podcast where we like talk about loads of things. I just, you know, I always just go to that next level where I'm like, right, so we're in a stadium, and it's you and I were the podcast, Mike.

Speaker 1
I mean, look, look, I'm not I'm not above it. I'm really not above it. I would be there with bells on any excuse to get on a stage to be perfectly honest.

Suzanne Chadwick
Good, awesome. So one of the things that I said to you is, you know, I guess like, what has been what you've been focusing on? More recently, was there anything else that we didn't speak about in episode in the first episode, the first time around, that you have been leaning into? And so I was just like, I feel like we don't need a lot of structure was like, let's just, let's just jam. There was some things that I wrote down, or I'm like, I really want to talk about this. But I just feel like you and I really don't have a problem. Just jammin on whatever, each other's

Speaker 1
Look, you're not wrong. I could probably talk about this stuff underwater. Yeah, no, it's been interesting. So we went to Unleash the Power Within in the middle of September. And it's now the end of November. So it's like three months ago, really, realistically, two and a half. And I, I feel like going to that event, it was like opening Pandora's box. For me. It just brought up so much stuff that I hadn't I thought I dealt with, which is often the way that it happens, right? You can sort of heal what you need to heal, or you address what you need to address as it affects you. And I feel like that event because it was so immersive and so concentrated, it really got to the heart of a lot of the things that I've been working through, probably for the last decade, if I'm being honest. And I think the thing that has been lingering with me the most and has been presented to me in a number of different ways from different parts of my life, is really this idea of like making decisions and deciding not just deciding. And then Tony says he's got like a bit of a three part thing theater, remember it because that's what makes it model makes it super, super easy for you to remember this idea of you decide you commit and your resolve. And so I'm really, really good at coming up with options.

Unknown Speaker
Or options.

Speaker 1
I know I love my options, love more variety, love my uncertainty, but really struggle with the I mean, I can make a decision, no problem and little decisions don't bother me. So I think what I'm really talking about here is like the decisions that scare you, I think the decisions that scare me the most, I really struggled, I can make them sometimes, but I really struggled to commit have the resolve to see them through. I haven't always been like this, but particularly in business, I think it's been a real struggle for me after you know, and I'm sure anyone who's been, you know, been through trauma or, you know, struggles with things like imposter syndrome and people pleasing. You know, it's you, if you come from a background where you haven't really had to make decisions before. And you haven't really had to back yourself in this particular way, you'll kind of understand what I mean, when I say that it's just such a crunchy process. You know, I feel like it's been for me, it's been very much a two steps forward three steps back kind of experience. And so, you know, when you said to me, you wanted to do this other episode, I sort of started to dig back through the workbook. And, you know, I was looking at the stuff around decision making. And particularly one of the things that that Tony says stops us from making decision making decisions committing to them and resolving to see them through is this idea of inner conflict. And so oftentimes your inner conflicts, it's really a conflict between your beliefs and your values. So there's that lack of inner alignment that's happening. And so I've been really sitting with that idea of like, Okay, number one, we're coming towards the end of the year, What decisions do I still need to make? And then the other part of that is like, on those decisions, what am I conflicted? What's the internal conflict here? That I'm battling? Because realistically, like, you're amazing, I'm amazing. Anyone that's listening to this podcast is a goddamn superstar. And we can do whatever we want. Right? You know, we know that we are very capable. Yeah. So, yes, very capable beings. And we are, you know, fortunate and privileged enough to have the resources and oftentimes the support to really go after what we want, but we still don't do it. You know. And so this is kind of what I've been sitting in is this, you know, this idea of decisions, because I can't remember if I said this in the last one, but the actual meaning the definition of the word decision comes from the Latin decision to which means to cut off. So it's like, Okay, we're gonna have to cut off some options, which then terrifies me because I love uncertainty. And I love options. So this is the little paradox that I've been sitting in lately, which has been very interesting and really uncomfortable, which lets me know that I'm in the right place. Yeah,

Suzanne Chadwick
yeah. And I think, you know, just on what you said, there, I was listening to Stephen Bartlett, from Dover CEO, he was being interviewed. And they're just sort of said to him, like, what's the one thing that you feel you want to let people know? And he just said, we are our greatest under estimators of our potential. And he's sort of expanded on that. But just that in a nutshell, I think that making decisions, it's like, sometimes we're like, well, what's the safest decision? What's the easiest decision? What what's the least painful, like, least massive change disruption type decision? And a lot of times, it's because we're, I don't know, I think we're sort of under estimating our own potential. But it's also like, what's easier? And I think that that's an interesting, like, I think, obviously, we want to move quickly when we're doing things. And so we're just like, well, what's the easiest choice here that I could make? And was something that I've been thinking about with that as well, and making the decisions coming into the end of the year? is like, what is my potential? Hmm. You know, and even as you're doing your website, and you're thinking about your products and services, which we've been discussing, and I've just been talking to so many clients about this is that sometimes we just say, like what we have done before, and we tap, or we limit ourselves a bit to what we could potentially do in the future as well. And I think that, you know, when we're in those crunchy, crunchy times of trying to narrow things down, I think another question is, like, Am I like, what do I think would help me to reach my full potential? I don't know. Is that a scary question to ask? Is it something that's even in your thought process when you're kind of making those decisions about calling opportunities or, you know, kind of making that decision? Yeah,

Speaker 1
that is, I think, I think that's a really pointy question to ask.

Suzanne Chadwick
I love you with your crunchy and your pointy

Speaker 1
ones. A copywriter always a copywriter? Can't have tell that I love words, right? It's yeah, the potential question I think, is really interesting. Especially because of where culturally we're at right now. And what we've just come out of, I think, our natural tendency to view the future through the lens of the past, does help us keep safe. But it does limit us. Because we can't see beyond what we've already created. When really like, we actually I don't, I don't think about my potential in terms of like, what's going to help me reach my potential. I look at what I've done so far, and go, Well, what's the next logical step beyond what I've just done? Right? Like, because that's the way less scary option than being like, you know, I'm going to be as, as you know, powerful, or as famous as Elizabeth Gilbert, or Brene. Brown, like, I can say that, but then the reality of actually trying to get my head around what that would look like, I actually can't see it yet. Because I don't think I'm supposed to, I think I'm actually supposed to create it. And I'll see it as I start creating it, right? Because also, if you if you kind of, you know, try to even even labeling your potential, I think is a form of limitation too. Because I think that does also stop you from maybe achieving something that's even greater beyond that. So I think I feel like there's maybe in that question, focusing on the actions and the steps rather than the end product, and the verbs and the things that you want to do that are going to push you in that direction might help. And I feel like that also takes a bit of the sting out of the decision making as well too. Because like, if I think about you know, you know, I want to be a New York Times bestselling author. If I think about that, if I have that as my goal. I start to like, I'm like, Oh God, but then Like, like, Who do I know that can get me on that list? And like, what does that book have to look like? And I start to get a bit too I start to think too broad about it. And less from a position of where I am today of like, actually, in order to get on that list, I have to write the damn book. You know what I mean? So I think I think that there's, I think that there's definitely value in thinking about potential as a direction, maybe rather than a destination. And then bringing that back in. Yeah, and focusing on what you're kind of doing today. And not getting tripped up in the weeds of it. But because I don't know, I kind of love I love that there's a little bit of magic and mystery out there that, you know, I don't know what's coming for me, you know, there's something out there that I can't have ever imagined that is going to be amazing. And it's going to absolutely blow my mind that I could never have thought of, you know, and sitting in that place of possibility like that, right? That's what really excites me. It's like, oh, like, what's gonna happen? You know, like,

Suzanne Chadwick
I love it. I love it. I think for me, it's like, I've, it's really interesting, because obviously, you and I are very different people in the way that we work and the way that we think. And for me having that potential vision, like if I decided I wanted to be a New York Times bestselling, like, for me, I'd just be like, I'm just gonna manifest that, like, I don't know how it's gonna happen. I don't know what path it's gonna take. And I don't know, like how I'm gonna get there. But it might be something that I think about all the time. So there's certain things that I think about all the time that are kind of like those big, they're not end goals, but there's something that I want to create and be part of and do. And I just feel like even thinking about them often. I'm almost like trusting my own navigation. To be like, I know, what I'm trying to get to create do be if I sit in that, and I'm just like, Okay, how can I make the decision from maybe even somebody who is in that place? That's kind of something that I think about a lot like, how, if if I was her, if I was me in like, 10 years time, if I was me, in five years time? How, like, how would she handle this? So what does she do? And I actually really love being in that sometimes, too. Yeah,

Speaker 1
and see, I call that vision, I wouldn't call that potential potential for me is really tied to like, capability. So like, my, my potential is infinite, I don't have to worry about that, like I can, the what I'm capable of, like, everybody look out. But the vision, like I totally agree with you, like I will always, like I can, I can visualize anything I want to create in the world, whether it's a website, whether that's, you know, a meal, whether that's how I look, or how I want to be in the world, like, you have to see it before it can happen, you have to at least get in the feeling of it, you know, whether it whether that's like, you know, visually seeing it as an image that comes to mind or as an emotion that's in your body, because that is what's going to magnetize you forward towards it. Not, um, you know, because it talks about this all the time, like, we can't rely on our willpower. Because it's just, there's just not enough of it, right? But if we can find something that pulls us forward, rather than us constantly having to use our drive and our willpower to propel us forward, like it just as a much easier way to work with that energy. So I totally agree with you. And I think I feel like where, where I know, myself included, and a lot of people in my orbit, where they get stuck is that they won't allow themselves to see it. They block themselves from from feeling it from allowing themselves the small possibility of dreaming something different, you know, because back to your point before, it's like I just want it to be easy. I don't want to do the work. Yeah. What's the shortcut? Who can help me quantum leap through this? Which some things you absolutely can, you absolutely can just go through. But you rob yourself in a lot of other ways you rob yourself of the magic of the process, and of the the energy and the joy and the excitement that comes from dreaming something up, and then seeing it come to fruition or being the one to actually you know, push it through and make it happen. Joseph McClendon the third, who was also he's one of Tony's right hand men, he was talking about this, I think in an Instagram post the other day where if you study for the test, and you aced the test that is going to feel so much more fulfilling than if somebody gave you the answers and you just wrote them down. So I think that there's a when we're talking about things like vision and potential and decisions, you know, something that you decide, and it's a real really hard decision for you to make. And it yields something amazing or it yields something terrible and you learn a lesson is so much more fulfilling and meaningful than having someone make that decision for you.

Suzanne Chadwick
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I think like one of the things that tiny said that I wrote down was change is not a matter of ability, it's a matter of motivation. And one of the other things that he said, is that in times of despair, stack your proof, not your doubt. Yes, yeah. And I've just been thinking it's been, I will, you know, this year has been to use your word crunchy. You know, it's hard to, I think, sometimes dream and vision and create when you're in either scarcity, or survival. And I think that this year, for a lot of businesses, not all, but a lot of businesses, there has kind of been that feeling of scarcity and survival. And it's hard to kind of see the light a little bit when you're when you're in that. But one of the things that I have been saying to clients is really looking at, you know, stacking their proof and stacking evidence in lots of different areas of their life, like, you know, if you want to build and grow your business, but you're like, Well, I haven't done it before. It's like, but where, you know, for you on your fitness journey, or when we're, when you're cooking, or whatever else it is, it's just like, where else in your life? Have you absolutely smashed your goals? Where else in your life have you stacked with the way you can stack proof that you are fully capable of achieving whatever that big vision or those big goals are, so that you can continue to, you know, be motivated towards whatever it is that you're going after? And it's not that you might have done it before? Or maybe you have done it before. And it's just believing that you can do it again. And I think that that's something that I'm definitely I don't know, I've been working with a lot of clients on fostering that belief. Because I feel like when we're in survival, that's probably the first thing to go is like, I can't do this. Like, what's the point? And I was joking, not joking, on an Instagram the other day where I was just like, basically, if you're not quitting at least 10 times a year, you're doing it wrong when you're in entrepreneurship, because it's such a roller coaster ride, that we've kind of got to have those tools at our disposal. It's like, what is my motivation? Like, what is that vision? So even when I'm like, on the floor, and being squashed by whatever's happening? I'm like, but I still, I can still see it. And I can still know that I'm capable of doing it, even though in this moment right now. It all feels a bit crunchy and terrible. I still have that kind of light at the end of the tunnel that I'm always focusing on, and always kind of working towards as well. Yeah,

Speaker 1
no, you're and you're absolutely right. And I think the other thing is that a lot of people don't talk about the amount of energy and resolve it takes to actually pull yourself out of the ship pit. You know, like, it does take, and especially if you've got a team, like if you're the one who has to pull everybody up out of that shit pit, like, be kind to yourself, because that takes an incredible amount of effort and brainpower and heart, you know, to do. And, man Yeah, the quitting like, the quitting piece is really funny because I this year has been the first year where I've just been like, I'm out. I mean, I'm out. I mean, I'm out I mean, like it just honestly just flip flopping around like a dead like a fish about to die like I'm just on on land, just flip, flip, flip flopping around. But I wanted to know, speaking of motivation, because I think this is a really interesting thing for people to start to think about. If they don't know, like, do you know like, what are your key motivators Suze?

Suzanne Chadwick
are for me, I would say, and it's, you know, it's kind of coming back to some of the stuff that Tony talked about as well. But for me being useful, being financially independent. Yep. And also I'm 100% on us. Status is important to me. Yeah, like if I'm if like I the usefulness and the status probably goes hand in hand like I want. I've always enjoyed being a leader. I've always enjoyed being somebody that has something to say that writes the book that has the podcast that is the speaker like I'm like, Bring it on, like I love it. That's so fun for me. And so that is definitely like for me to just be like, Okay, from now on. I'm just going to be invisible. and behind the scenes, like, you may as well just bury me. Like, that's no fun for me. So I think for my, my motivation is definitely like the contribution piece, the status piece and the financial piece like, since you know, since I was however old 14, you know, I've worked and it's been really important for me to earn money and be independent. And when I was when I was on maternity leave, that was like, one of the most excruciating things even though, you know, yes, I grew a human, but it's like, but not contributing financially, for the first time ever. I don't know, there was definitely like something in me where I was just like, it was almost like, I'm, like, I'm not a value was probably the feeling that I had. And I think that that independence can be good and bad at the same time. Because I think that, you know, that's not where I want my worth to be. But I also know how I felt at the time when I wasn't, like financially contributing. So those sorts of things, those three things probably motivate me, I'm there's other things that motivate me to like, for me connection, conversation and fun. Like, they just make life so much better. So I just really enjoy that. And that motivates me to get out and network and be like, Yeah, I'll just go to that event. I don't know anybody. But yeah, like, I'm more than happy to go. Because it just makes life more enjoyable. And I feel. I don't know. Yeah, more joy and happiness when I do that.

Speaker 1
Yeah, I actually, if you if they if you actually if I hadn't met your kids, I would not believe you about the you're not working during maternity leave, because I just can't picture it. Because I can't picture you not not doing what you do. Yeah.

Suzanne Chadwick
Well, I mean, I started like a little business. And that was, which was terrible. Like, it didn't make any money. But it was just because I needed to do something like I needed to feel like I was, I don't know, productive in some way. And once again, if you're a mom at home, like we are the most productive people ever. And also, sometimes it's fine not to be productive. But yeah, I think that, that that was definitely a struggle. Yeah, I can relate to that. No matter what motivates you,

Speaker 1
oh, yeah, interesting. As you were talking, I was just sort of cycling through a few things. I think the connection piece for me is really important. But and not just between people, but I think that there's for me, there is this, like, bigger process happening of this, you know, understanding things, I'm really motivated by learning and by knowledge, and by understanding, you know, you know, how the world works, how people work, what stops us from being able to create the things that we want to create, I'm definitely motivated by freedom, you know, freedom of expression, freedom to go after and do whatever you want to do. Definitely, you know, very, very hyper independent, I probably am on the less healthy end of the scale with that one. But we're working on it, we're working on it. And I don't know, I just feel I feel like from what I've experienced insane, and, you know, I've, unfortunately, lost a lot of people that have been close to me over my life. Like, I think I'm very much motivated by the fact that I'm just here. You know, the fact that I was even born in the first place, the fact that I've made it this far. I was like, didn't see that one coming. You know, so I think, you know, when times do get tough, like, I really scale back my, my motivations, and I look for the little things, right? So it's like, Yes, look for the evidence of, of, you know, you know, we've got 100% track rate of surviving all your baddest moments up until now, because we're still here. And, you know, sometimes the motivation can be just, you know, that one person that you've been working with that, that, you know, that they're on the edge of a breakthrough or, you know, you've just, you've sent them that proposal, and they've said that they're really excited and they, they have more questions, you know, so I think that there's, there's little little motivations that we can pick up on to get us through the day to day you know, especially if we're struggling with the big the big things, you know, the big vision, what's like the day to day version of that, and I find you know, for me motivation is directly linked to health. If I'm exhausted if I haven't had enough water if I you know, if I haven't exercised like I have rubbish motivation and of course I will become a couch potato because I haven't done that, you know. And that's also another thing that Tony says it's like, you know, you have to get into that peak state, like, everything comes after that. Like, he also said, do not make a decision, unless you're in a peak state, which makes perfect sense, right? If we make if we make a decision, when we're feeling like shit, it's probably going to be a shitty decision. So yeah, I think that energy is really the, you know, a core component in all of this stuff. And if we don't have good energy, it's really hard to do anything good.

Suzanne Chadwick
Yeah, I completely agree. And I think it's just like, if I take a step back and take a look at this year, or even the last couple of months, being able to manage your energy. Huge, huge game changer. Yeah. And it's not to say that even when you're somebody who's like, yeah, like, generally, I manage my energy, well, doesn't mean that you're not going to be flat and fall on your face every now and again, and all the rest of it. Like, you know, yesterday, I was trying to really tired because I obviously went out on the weekend. For my birthday, obviously, obviously, obviously. But I was just woke up so tired. I'm like, Oh, just gonna quit. Like, I've done done and try it. And I'm done. And then this morning, I was like, well, let's go. Like, and I just think I just think that a couple of things that we've talked about, number one, having some sort of vision that drives and motivates you, as to how you want to feel who you want to be how you want to be in the world, whatever that is. And you know, everybody's vision is completely different. Yours could be a very quiet vision, other people could be like world domination. I still remember like that question that I asked when I interviewed 50 Odd women when I first started my business eight years ago. I'm like, What does playing big look like to you? And one person said, I'd have a global multimillion dollar business and somebody else said I'd go live on Facebook.

Speaker 1
Oh, yeah, that's such a such a huge difference. Yeah.

Suzanne Chadwick
And I just think that whatever your vision is, I think it's just getting clear on what it is you're trying to create. And then like we were asking each other, what motivates you, like, I think actually taking some time to be like, What does motivate me, because what motivated me when I was 25, is a very different motivation to now. And I think sometimes we don't keep up with ourselves. Like, we don't sort of see like, where am I now? What is important to me? How do I want to live or work or adjust? And I think just checking in, when you know what motivates you, I think that a lot of times you can manage your energy better. Because you know where you're at, you're like, Well, I feel really exhausted by that. Because I've always I've been doing that for years. And it's kind of like HIPAA, you don't want to do that anymore. So that's no longer a motivation, which is why it's maybe sapping your energy when you do do it, whatever that might be. So I think that there's like a couple of things in there, the the vision, the motivation, and the energy piece, just to kind of sometimes come back and just reconnect with ourselves and be like, what are those things for me now? Like at the end of 2023, we're going to be playing this over the holiday period, you know, coming into 2024? What are those things for you? Yeah. And

Speaker 1
I think that's a like, and if you don't know, if you don't know what motivates you, just look to how you spending your time. And what does give you the most energy, because all the things that you do over and over again, without even really thinking about it. Like for me, you know, exercise is a huge motivating motivator, so much so that it's just become a habit now. And so I do it over and over again, because it gives me energy, you know, so it's like, it's a bit of a loop. I think that the energy motivation cycle. And you know, one of the I'm going to just do a shameless plug here about journaling. I don't care if you've, if you've never journaled before, I don't care if you if you've, if you've struggled or you stopped and you started and then you you know, you haven't been able to maintain it, or journaling is is self reflection, right? So just take a piece of paper out and ask the question, and see what comes out. And you know, I know that that can be really scary for people to do. And a lot of people avoid, like doing the work. I'm using air quotes right now doing the work. Because again, it's like, what's the easiest option? You know, I'm just gonna Google it instead. No, stop googling. start reflecting. Like, just gonna get a bit of tough love here.

Suzanne Chadwick
There's our soundbite. Stop googling. start reflecting. Yeah, yeah. No, I love that. And I just think, you know, at the end of the day, anybody that's been in the entrepreneurship, you know, arena for a while. That personal development that getting to know yourself, like if you don't do the work You, you're gonna struggle, you're gonna struggle, because a lot of times, we're just working on our own, and we've got to be the decision maker, we've got to be the motivator, we've got to be the driver. And if you don't spend the time to get unlike understand yourself at a deeper level, it's going to be a hard. I mean, it's hard enough, even when you do do the work, let alone when you don't do the work.

Speaker 1
It actually reminds me of another one of Tony's little quips, where he says, and this is this is what journaling is perfect for, or any kind of self reflective writing, or any conversation for that matter. changed the way you look at things and the things you look at change. And I think that is like if there's ever a lesson for tough times that is it. Because if you can be the the only person in the room to change your perspective on a difficult time and look at it as a learning rather than a roadblock. Or you can you can look at it as a challenge or an invitation instead of a setback. Like that is going to completely change the way you react to situations and also probably give you more energy to keep going.

Suzanne Chadwick
Yeah, absolutely. I've recently released an episode called the fail files. And I feel like that reflection as well. It's like, it's just a lesson. Yeah, like, there's no shame in it. There's no, you know, it's not bad. Obviously, we want things to always go our way. But I do think that, once again, either the journaling or the reflection on the lessons that we've learned this year, I think is a powerful thing to do. And even like, you know, I know that I'm going to be sitting maybe over the holidays with Tony's like the workbook, and just really thinking about what, what do I want to carry with me? What are some of the things that, you know, I've learned and I shared on a earlier podcast episode around the gratitude, and really feeling the gratitude. And I do have to laugh, because some laugh because some, as I say to my husband, I'm just like, Yeah, I'm just gonna be really grateful for that. And I'm really grateful, I'm just gonna be grateful. And it's just like, alright, because I'm just like, I you know, Tony was sort of saying, you can't be what was it, you can't be mad, or you can't be sad, or be grateful at the same time. And I've just been really leaning into more gratitude, but not just like, Oh, I'm grateful for that. But actually sitting and feeling it and remembering it. Like, in that moment, what I saw, what I felt, what I smell, what I touched, whatever it was. And I've been doing more of that as a practice. And it's been so powerful. Like, it's really helped me, when I have felt quite low or quite down to just be like, let me go take myself outside. And let me go sit. And let me actually just spend like 10 or 15 minutes, just being in the gratitude, not just kind of saying to my husband, I'm grateful, I'm grateful for that. Being grateful.

Speaker 1
Well, and that you know, if you know, if you're if you know, some if someone listening to this, you know, if you're if your default mode is to go to the past, and look at all the failures and look at all the stuff ups and all the near misses and the missed opportunities. This could be a really small, very, very small, gentle reframe, for you to sit in gratitude rather than lack. So you know, next time you feel yourself going, Oh, like this is like that wasn't that time that last time that happened when I sent out that email and it didn't blah, blah, blah. You know, reframing that in and looking for that evidence, like you said before, of like, I'll remember that time I got that feedback, someone emailed me back and said, This changed my day or this did this, you know, and you know that if that just that slight adjustment, while it might feel like it's doing absolutely nothing, in the moment, doing that over and over again, it's the same, it's that consistency piece is the same as going to the gym, you build the muscles over time, not overnight. And it's the same with gratitude. Same with any of this stuff. Same with creativity, you know, you're not going to become a you know, Picasso overnight, but you have you have a really good shot of producing something amazing. If you stick to it for even for a year, you'd be surprised by how much you can actually change things when you actually change them. Whoa, explosion. But on that topic, too. I just want to mention quickly, the model that Tony talks about the three forces of creation, which I think definitely is something I'm going to be carrying into 2024 and you know, having really predominantly in my vision in my line of vision, because he says that there's three forces of creation and the first is the focus. So that's having that power of absolute clarity and commitment, which is why I was talking about the decisions earlier. Huge what you felt, you know, where you focus where your focus goes, energy flows, so true. The second part of it is massive action, which he describes as effective execution, which I love, not small action, not a little bit of action, as you action. Yeah. And then the last piece, which is also I think, where the gratitude comes into, is this idea of grace. You know, it's like, whether you want to call it you know, he says, whether you want to call it luck, or good fortune, or serendipity, or just that, like cosmic feeling of like, trust in yourself and the process, where you're starting to work towards something that is not about you, but it is not about me, it's about we, and then flipping that, you know, that mentality to be like, How can I contribute? How can I grow, you know, those three things focus, massive action and grace, cycling through that, you know, anytime you want to create something, you know, that's going to create some really good momentum. I feel like that's gonna be the thing that's gonna get you going and get you out of that, you know, fear and doubt and impostor syndrome, you know, because, and it's not hard, like, focusing on things. I mean, well, you know, depending on how distracted you are speaking from experience here, but you know, and then massive action, I think, like taking a second to pause, and, you know, okay, I would normally make this action, but what's something that's 10 times that, that I could do? You know, and challenging yourself and pushing yourself to take that, you know, bigger, take a bigger extra step doesn't have to be the huge leap, but just the biggest step than you normally would? And then yeah, that trust, like trusting in the world around you a little bit more not looking at it as if it's trying to get you you know, I think I know, for years, that was my default mode. And it took me a really long time to get to a place where I could say, actually, there's some forces conspiring to support me right now. You know, and I can see that because now I've started to gather the evidence for it, you know, yeah,

Suzanne Chadwick
life is happening for me, not to me. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. No, I love that. And I just think that, ah, I just think that like all the things that we've just talked about, as well around, you know, your vision and your motivation, and your energy and gratitude, and massive action, you know, one of the things that I've really reframed or not even like, I mean, I don't feel like it was ever a massive issue. But one of the things I've reframed this year has been impostor syndrome, where it's just, my brain is telling me there's an opportunity to learn something new. And I think that, you know, instead of it being, oh, imposter syndrome, I can't do it. I'm not worthy, I'm not capable. It's like, Oh, that's really interesting. And I think that when we, when we do that reflection, on the thoughts that we have, and the emotions that we have, I think coming at it from a place of curiosity, can also be a very graceful and gentle way for us to explore, like, where we're at and where we're going. And I just think, like, Curiosity is I did write it down. I'm like, is that going to be my word for 2024? I wasn't sure. It's one of the words that in the mix that let you know. But, but it's something that I'm just like, when something feels a little crunchy, when something doesn't go the way I want. When an opportunity arises, where I'm like, Oh, crap, wow. Like, that's scary. I'm just like, that's let's be curious. Like, why does that feel scary? Like, what? What are you thinking? What are you feeling? It's almost like it is that self inquiry. Yeah. And so I just really also want to encourage you when you are in the place where you're trying to move the, through the things that we're talking about today, to come at it with grace, from a place of curiosity, where you're just like, let me just be really gentle with myself as I explore this.

Speaker 1
And try it out. Yeah, and test and test it out on paper, you know, like you can roll through you can do some like scenario planning to, you know, and I often find that helps me, particularly if it is an opportunity that feels just slightly above my capability level. You know, I sort of think to myself, you know, I wonder I wonder what that version like you were saying before, what that what that version of me is going to contribute, you know, and you know, honestly, like, half the time when I'm looking at things I want to do, I'm like, oh my god, Wouldn't it be funny if I did that? Like I'm just gonna do it for the lols because I think it's gonna be a really good really great stories so like, all this stuff, all your hopes and dreams. They don't have to be this like really serious full on. I have to watch gave me the top of my field. You know, you can just do it for a laugh.

Suzanne Chadwick
Mariana, you're doing it for the plot

Speaker 1
I am doing for the plot. I, I love a good plot twist more than anybody, like, Bring it on. Like I am ready for that narrative spin. Let's go. That's

Suzanne Chadwick
like one of my favorite. Like, I don't even know what generation it is. Is it Gen Z? I don't even know. But it's like, just do it for the plot. I'm like, I am on board with that.

Speaker 1
Yes, yeah. Because at the end, that's the thing like, all that, like, Yes, this is serious work. Yes, this is like, you know, it's you. And it's your life, your one precious life. But it has to be fun. It's got to be fun. It's got to be playful. It's got to be curious. You got to be interested in it. Do not for the love of God, do anything that you are not interested in? Just because you see somebody get a lot of praise, or accolades or attention for doing something, it doesn't mean you have to do it.

Suzanne Chadwick
I feel like you're talking to my kids now, like, because they jumped off a cliff doesn't mean you need to do it as well. Exactly. So good. All right. So the other thing that I noted down that I wanted to talk about, because it's something I've been chatting with clients a lot about is be the inspiration, not the information. And I think that right now, I literally just got off a call with a client before this, this conversation. And it was like, when you are building a personal brand, when you are building your business, be the person who is curious and creative, and doing things that inspire you. Because when you are inspired and you are sharing from a place of being inspired, once again, we're going to come back to the E word, your energy will do a lot of the work for you. And this kind of comes back to the whole magnetism of you becoming somebody who is magnetic, because you understand that these are the things that inspire me, these are the things I want to talk about this is my vision, you know, what motivates me and all the rest of it and not get stuck in there? How can I share this information, let me give you three tips for how you can do X, Y, and Zed. And I'm just like, we get so stuck in that and then we feel really uninspired. And we feel kind of like, oh, this is so boring. And so we kind of want to go from that curiosity, fun, being inspired, bringing the energy, where if you create and build from a place like from that place, it's just a totally different ballgame. And I feel like you'll never run out of ideas. It's the whole thing of, you know, the more creative you are, the more creativity you have. And so when I read that I just that really kind of jumped out at me, because I feel like we're in a very information dense time. And if you feel stuck in your information density, then step out of it, and think about how can I inspire myself so that I can inspire others.

Speaker 1
And you know, what's really motivating, inspiration. Nothing is going to make you stagnate more than information overload. Right when you taking you've taken in too many perspectives. You've listened to too many podcasts, you've read too many books. Now you can't even hear your own voice. You don't even know what you think. I don't even know what you think so, you know, I think this is a very it's a very good lesson in in like that self trust pace, that intuition pace. It's following those beautiful breadcrumbs that are you know, that life presents to you every day. And just and just following them and sharing that, you know, sharing the things that are peeking your curiosity, not not because you want to make a sale. But because you actually just genuinely want to share and connect and show people what you're about. You know, and I think we've moved beyond the slick the overproduced the, you know, there's people I think, feel like we're all a bit tapped out. We're craving that authenticity. Like I geek out when someone is like super nerdy, and sharing that something that they're obsessed about that they embody, that you can see head to toe, they are just like lit up, not even lit up, but they're just like, they're present to it. That to me like I will, I will just want to be in their world. I want to hear everything about it. Like I remember this one time when I was back at art school. So this is like, a little time ago, a few few lifetimes ago. They would always bring in these artists to come and lecture us like every every other week we'd have a different artist sharing their practice. And so many of them I just can't remember but there is this one man I can't remember his name. But he came and talked to it spoke to us solely about bells. All he spoke his whole practice was he was fascinated with how bells work and how the different tones and when use different materials and when you place them inside, and when you place them outside. Like that's the level of like obsession, and like embodiment that gets people that that you know that people remember, you know, we all have our own little obsessions, right? We all have the things that like, we just naturally just start getting, you know, our voice goes a little bit higher when we start talking about it, and we can't slow down and it's all very exciting, you know, and I, you know, I think I feel like a lot of people repress that because they think it's cringe, and they think it's weed, and they think it's like, nobody's gonna care about Dawson's Creek. I care about Dawson's Creek, so I'm gonna keep talking about it forever. And keep quoting it forever. Because I love it so much. And it means something to me, right? I would love in 2024, if we all just got a little bit more unhinged, a little bit more weird, a little bit more off the chain, a little more obsessed, you know, not about what's trending not about necessarily what's popular, but like the things that are just that just get, you know, just get you go, you know?

Suzanne Chadwick
Yeah, absolutely. And I just think that, you know, one thing that people don't realize is that when you are fully yourself, that is what magnetizes the right people to you, where they're just like, Oh, me, too, like, oh my gosh, I love that. And I was laughing. There's this guy on Tik Tok, who sings old Chicago songs. So for any of you, like, I'm obsessed with Chicago, I love them. And so he's just, he just like sings them in his car. He's mining. But it's like, nostalgic, and it's random. But it's like, I always go back to them. And I just, I just, people just need to realize that when you decide to be fully you, when you swear, if that's your thing, when you talk about Dawson's Creek, if that's your thing, when you sing Chicago, because that's your thing, then you become somebody who's memorable, who's different. Who stands out from the crowd, who people are like, Oh, my God, I so connected with that person, like, let me go back and continue to connect with them. When we get weird about the stuff that we love. It is your it's, that's like, I want a different word. Because both sides differentiator, it's like the thing that sets you apart. And it's the thing that keeps people coming back again and again. And it's also it's okay to be that multi passionate entrepreneur or that multi passionate person, let's not let's not even say entrepreneur, it's like, what do you love to watch? What do you love to eat? What do you love to talk about? When it comes to business? What do you love to talk about? That's not business? Like, what are all the things that make you you? Because if I like what you sell, let's take it back to business for a second. But you show me all the parts of you. It's just gonna make my decision to work with you so much easier, because I'm like, You are my person. Like everything about you? Yes, you're obviously good at what you do. But I could probably go find somebody else who could teach me the same thing. But all of the things that you share, which is so uniquely you, and so just authentic and real, just makes such a difference, like the number of messages I got when I was like, I just feel like quitting. And people like, oh my god, I love it when you're just so honest. I'm just like, because well, that's one of my values, for starters, is transparency and honesty, which is why I'm doing the fail files as well. I'm like, let me tell you about all the stupid stuff I did. As well as the stuff that is good and successful and the things that I'm proud of. But I just think be the inspiration, not the information. As somebody who is obsessed with personal branding and talks about it a lot. And business. Like that is going to be one of the things that will make the biggest difference for you. If you're willing to, like lean into it and be like stuffer. Like I'm just gonna I'm just gonna tell you, like everything that I love and what's going on. Yeah,

Speaker 1
and you know, what's even another layer to that that's even more memorable and will stay you know, make you stand out even more is if the things that you were talking about the things that you're obsessed about, create a paradox. So when it's like how can this person be both x and y? People love that shit like that is that is the stuff that is like that gets people's curiosity because because it's like, well, these two things shouldn't go together but all of a sudden I see a person who is doing a beautifully like that is very captivating. Like for example, I can be I can be an I can be a writer generally quite introverted and Jim girlie you know, sport and creativity don't often go together, you know, it's like, oh, how does it Wait? How does that work? Well, how is this person that so, you know, by you just being you and leaning into the things that maybe shouldn't go together, that's like another beautiful creative moment. And that's when you produce something original. That's, that's the creative moment is when you take things that aren't necessarily supposed to go together, and you put them together and you create that third option. It's not coming up with this stuff. It's coming up with a It's not coming up with an identity from scratch that's never existed before. But it's like, you know, for example, like Airbnb, what if I take somebody's house? And then I take the concept of a hotel, and I mash them together? What does that create? Oh, my God, it created an entirely new industry, right? So when we think about that, on a personal level, it's like, all those things that go together that don't that aren't supposed to go together, when you put them together, it creates friction and tension. And that's the really interesting storytelling moment that you've got to.

Unknown Speaker
Huh, so good.

Suzanne Chadwick
All right, Marian, that has been jam packed, I feel like we should probably leave it there. We're gonna be here for another hour and a half, which we don't want. But what, what is one of the main things that you think we should leave our listeners with?

Speaker 1
So I am going to set a little bit of a challenge to you, dear listener, because this is something I'm also going to do over the holiday break. And it is Decide, commit and resolve. So What decisions do you still need to make in order to build momentum? And I want you to think about three decisions. So not gonna be you know, and they can be small decisions. They can be big decisions, but these are decisions that you've been avoiding. ones maybe that you've made and reneged on and gone back on. But ones that you know, deep down, and this is just your personal journey. It's not for anybody else. Ones that you know, deep down will make the biggest change in your life in 2024. No big deal.

Suzanne Chadwick
Just a little thing that you can do over the break.

Speaker 1
Yeah, just maybe a long Christmas afternoon. Yeah. The glass of water. You've

Suzanne Chadwick
had a massive, massive lunch. Yeah, yeah. So I got awesome. And one thing I'm going to leave you with is how can you be the inspiration and not the inflammation? How can you fully embrace all of your incredible weird, all the things that make you uniquely you, and start to use that to become the magnet that you want to be for everything in your life, whether it's business or personal? I think that's the other thing. Like, let's get out of the information overload and let's start being the creators, and the inspiration rather than the consumers and the information givers. For each so good. So God, awesome. So my and for my listeners, this might be the first time that they have come in contact with you or listened to our conversations. I will obviously have, I will keep saying episode one, part one. I'm gonna say part one to this conversation in the show notes. But where can they find you?

Speaker 1
They can find me on my website, Marian Piper creative.com. On Instagram is where I tend to loiter the most at Marion barber creative. That's my handle, slide into my DMs. Let's get weird.

Suzanne Chadwick
Love it. And Marian while we're here, like what is it that you do? Oh,

Speaker 1
yeah, great question. Um, so I am a writer and artist and a speaker, I work I play a lot with in copy and in messaging, and in creative in the Land of Creativity. And so I tend to work a lot with purpose led brands, and creatives and you know, solopreneurs, really around self expression, and around how to take those ideas in your head. And, you know, and talk about them and communicate them in a way that is that are going to bring people along on the journey. Because that's, you know, what I what I believe in is like, creativity really is the antidote to everything. So that's what I that's the hill I want to die on. And sorry, if you if you've fallen out of love with your creative practice, or you're trying to birth something, you know, even if it's something as small as an Instagram post.

Suzanne Chadwick
We need to talk. Yeah, and you've got a podcast too.

Speaker 1
I do. It's called What doesn't kill us. And it's conversations around creativity and mental health.

Suzanne Chadwick
I love it. All the things, all the things go say hi to Marian. I hope you enjoyed this episode. There were some big themes in there. And obviously when you go after your Christmas lunch and answer the quote Students that Marian has given you then be sure to DM us and let us know how you went with that too. But otherwise, thanks for hanging in.

Speaker 1
Oh, always a pleasure. Thanks for having me.

Suzanne Chadwick
Well, I hope you enjoyed our part two of our Tony Roberts UPW debrief. If you've got any questions and obviously let us know make sure you go check out Marian and all the things that she's doing. She's amazing. If you're looking for a copywriter, creativity coach all the rest of it, she is the bomb. But listen, that's it for another week. Have an amazing break wherever you are. And I will see you next time on the podcast.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai